Tri Training

So I've decided on my next big race: a triathlon in Jekyll Island, Georgia on May 21, 2011.  The Turtle Crawl Triathlon is a great choice for a number of reasons:


1) It's on Jekyll Island, which is completely flat and beautiful.
2) It's where my great friends Abi and Bryan England (and their children, Anna and the B) live and work, so I've got a built-in fan base and a place to stay.
3) I love swimming much more than running. 


Triathlons, for those of you that do not know, come in a wide variety of distances, but always involve three things: Swimming, biking and running, in that order.  The longest is the Ironman, which consists of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 miles of biking, and a marathon - 26.2 miles.  There is also the half Ironman (literally, the distances are roughly half of the Ironman), the Olympic distance and the sprint distance, which is what I'll be doing.  Sprint distances vary, but mine will be a .25 miles swim, a 14.5 mile bike and a 5k, which is 3.1 miles of running.  


I did a lot of looking into training plans this past weekend, but that didn't do me a lot of good. I can already handle all of those distances individually right now. The training plans were all trying to build you up to where you could do those distances.  So I kind of made up my own schedule of swimming, biking and running each twice a week.   I'm going to try and do some speed work during my running sessions to improve my 5k time.  I'm also going to research swim workouts to see if I can improve my time with that. Right now, I just jump in the pool and swim for 40 minutes, which is about a mile distance.  Biking is CLEARLY my weakest discipline. Today I tackled my first ride in a long time and, man, am I going to be sore tomorrow.


The Turtle Crawl also has an Olympic distance triathlon the same day, which is a 1.5 mile swim, a 29 mile bike ride and a 10k or 6.2 miles running.  I strongly considered doing it instead of the sprint distance.  The swim is not much farther than I am currently used to doing in the pool, and I've already done the 10k distance for running several times.  I'm not sure how difficult 29 miles would be on the bike. That would take some work.  Right now, I'm pretty sure I'll stick with the sprint, even though I would like to challenge myself more. A triathlon is such a different type of race because of all of the transitions involved from swimming to biking to running. I could probably take advantage of the easier distance just to get used to the format for my first time.


Care to weigh in?  Think I should play it safe for my first Tri or challenge myself with the Olympic distance?

Prepped and Ready

I am better today.  Sorry for the numerous mopey posts of late. You should know by now that I am kind of a moody person. I'm either sunny or cloudy, but, thankfully, most of the time I am sunny.

Anyway, after a gorgeous weekend here in good ol' South Carolina, I'm feeling more like myself. Yesterday, I took some extra time at the grocery store deciding on my snacks for the week.  I want to eat within my calorie range each day, but I also want to be full and excited about what I get to eat.

I ended up buying those Sandwich Thins, which are 100 calories, and pimento cheese, which is one of my favorite foods. Two tablespoons is 80 calories, so it's not a horrible amount for a snack. If I make them in advance, I can measure out the pimento cheese to make sure I don't overindulge.  A problem I've been having is being starved by 10 a.m., and then feeling defeated when my snack of a banana or almonds doesn't fill me up.  So I think this pimento cheese sandwich will help keep me full through the morning and give me a snack to look forward to.

I also finally found edamames, a soybean that was recommended as a snack by Amie and seconded by Alyssa.  The ones I bought are roasted and salted, and I think that robs them a little of their natural flavor, but they are still pretty tasty.

I also bought some strawberries, which I haven't been able to buy for several months.  I usually just use them on my cereal, but I think this week I will stick with blueberries on my cereal and use the strawberries for a delectable snack.

Last week, due to a number of dinner invitations out with friends, I ended up not eating my sausage soup. I froze it, so I have it to eat this week. My second meal is Coca-Cola Chicken with brown rice.  This is one of the easiest recipes ever: put chicken breasts, a can of coke and a cup of ketchup in a skillet.  Cook on medium heat for 40-45 minutes. I use Diet Pepsi, of course, but it's the same thing. The cola and ketchup make a barbecue-like sauce.  I serve over brown rice.

Anyway, I feel much better and prepared mentally and practically for the week.  I also started the first day of my triathlon training today, and it felt really good. More about my training later this week.

Fear

I think most people have some fear inside them.  I'm not talking fear of snakes or bugs*, but a deeper, emotional fear. The kind of fears we don't really talk about most of the time, and try to push down inside us when they rise to the surface. I don't want to try and list all of the possible fears you could have, because I would undoubtedly miss yours. 

What am I primarily afraid of today that sparked this particular post? Trying and failing to get back on track with my diet. Again.  It seems that since November, I've been repeatedly trying to get back on track and it works for awhile, but then I go crazy or get busy or tired and blow it.**

It's a fear that grows a little bit each time I try and then fail. By now it has grown so big that it is close to keeping me from even trying again in the first place.  

When I thought about wanting to write about fear, I went to the dictionary to see what it said:

Fear: -noun- a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain,etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

I share this with you because I like the fact that it specifically says "whether the threat is real or imagined."  It's like the dictionary knows humans are all a little crazy.

Now as a Christian who believes what the Bible tells me, I know that I should not fear.  The Bible says that a lot in a lot of different places.  But again, it is a matter of knowing something logically with your brain, and figuring out how to communicate it to the part of you that does the feeling.

I need to go back to the basics. Start small.  Don't put so much pressure on myself (but how does one do that?) I feel like I'm starting this journey all over again. 

*Or in my case, cats and bridges.

**A few definitions for you: "Diet" is when I am eating lots of fruits and vegetable daily, tracking my calorie counts and making a concerted effort to drink lots more water than Diet Pepsi. It is not a super-restrictive, punishing diet.  "Blowing it" is when I give myself over to cravings and temptations full of chocolate, ice cream and fast foods.  And it's not like I can just have a little bit of these treats and be satisfied. No. Once I start with them, it is a slippery slope into full blown "blowing it" mode.

Assistant Mom for the Day

Today I pretty much trashed all of my wonderful streaks that I started yesterday.  I'll be starting from scratch again. I'm not upset about it though, because I spent the day with my oldest niece and nephew so things were not exactly ordinary.
It was a busy and exhausting day.  We played on the Chic-fil-a playground (Me to Julia: "What does a cow say?" Julia to me: "Eat More Chicken!") and made friends with strangers.  We took their mom to the hospital twice (Natalie had her first sips of milk today! What a miracle!). We made cookies (Mine and Julia's favorites, Peanut Blossoms). We made dinner together (Zach is now a master at Mac and Cheese).
It was such an adventourous day, I thought I'd share a few pictures:

Chic-fil-a playground.

Oops, a little eggshell in the batter never hurt anyone!

Julia took over my old job of
unwrapping the kisses.

Batter is tasty

Peanut butter 'n chocolate

Zach cooks dinner!

Streakin'

A big part of sparkpeople.com's weight loss strategy is the idea of the Streak.  It has nothing to do with inappropriate nakedness, but a lot to do with building consistency and healthy habits.

From their website: 

Consistency can be helpful, but it can also be motivating. When it takes the form of a streak, consistency is an underrated way to get your blood pumping again. Keeping a streak alive, even for a short time, is an instant power boost. It breeds confidence, builds momentum and puts you on the winning side again if you’re starting to feel yourself slide.

I took to streaking right away when I joined Sparkpeople last, last August.  They have a way for you to track your water, exercise, fruits and veggies and calories, so that once you record them, it keeps track of your streaks for you.  Each day when you log on, you can easily see how many days in a row you've had your water or how many weeks in a row you've met your exercise goals. 

I love lists and checkmarks next to items on lists and the feeling of accomplishment that goes along with it, so streaks were right up my alley. They just make me feel good and will put me back in control (hopefully.) I'm hoping to get some good streaks going beginning today.  I'm hoping to maintain several streaks (water, fruits and veggies, exercise and planks). So far today it's been going well.

If, you're just getting started on your weight loss journey, just pick one thing and try to do it consistently.  If you can keep up with that change after a week or two, then add something else. Starting small and building slowly is the best way to begin and maintain a healthy lifestyle change.  We can do it together!

Sisyphus

It's always hardest to post on a week like this week. It's hard to admit that I am not doing well, and it's hard to admit that makes me sad.  I don't know what's wrong, but I'm blaming winter.  It's been dreary and raining all week. It's made me tired and unmotivated. I think I have an undiagnosed case of S.A.D. (Seasonal affective disorder, aka the winter blues). 


I've finished my 10k training program and don't have another race in sight (translation: no motivation).  I've been busy after work each day, which means no time for fun Turbo Kicks and only the boring treadmill or elliptical facing me during my lunch hour workouts (although today I enjoyed a nice walk on the track with a friend).


I hate the fact that my posts are so cyclical. I'm either super-enthusiastic and Ms. Motivation or I'm all "woe-is-me" and "I'll never succeed." I feel like Sisyphus, the king from Greek mythology who was punished by the gods to roll a heavy boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down again, over and over through all eternity. (No, I didn't remember his name either. I had to google "name of guy in greek mythology who rolls a stone up a hill in the underworld" to learn it.) 


The weight loss thing has been such a struggle. It has never been easy, even though I have been successful. I think the reason that I've been having trouble being consistently on track lately is because it is such a fight. I've been fighting it for over a year, and I am tired.  But I have to keep pushing this rock up the hill because if I don't, it might roll back down and crush me.


People often comment that they like the honesty of this blog. I feel like that's pretty honest for ya.


The worst part is that logically, I know I'm being ridiculous. I know I am wallowing. I know I should set some small goals that I know I can accomplish and feel good about. I know how to succeed! So why don't I just suck it up and do what needs to be done and lose 100 pounds?  I don't know. I guess because there is a large part of me that is not logical; a part of me that is made up of stupid feelings.


Good news: I spent some time researching triathlons and triathlon training programs, and I think I've identified my next race goal: The Turtle Crawl Sprint Triathlon in Jekyll Island, Georgia in May.  Maybe this will help lend me some structure.

Perserverance

I think I've been getting easily discouraged lately because of the way my weight loss has slowed down so much.  I mean from August 2009 until May 2010, I was steadily losing 2 pounds per week most weeks.  By May 1, 2010, I had lost 79 pounds. All summer I fluctuated, losing some weeks and gaining those pounds right back the next week. I didn't make it to 90 pounds until October 7.  Since October I've again been fluctuating. I weighed this past Thursday, and I am at 92 pounds lost.  It's frustrating that I just keep dancing around the same old pounds.


Last week I posted a blog about taking a break from the scale. I loved taking a week off from weighing. I think it was great for my mental health. It was nice to just be happy with the size I am instead of constantly looking at the goal and the next few pounds that I need to lose.  However, the scale is a big part of the accountability that is necessary while trying to lose weight. Avoiding it makes it easier to avoid my daily food goals.  I think I've decided that I need to be weighing weekly while I'm still trying to lose. Once I make it to my goal, I may be able to visit the scale less frequently (maybe that's some added motivation for me?). 


Anyway, it's very easy to get frustrated about not losing weight, but I can't really blame my body.  I still love chocolate and eating out and so usually when I gain weight back it's because I've been overindulging. Today I'm facing the start of another new week and another new start to my diet.  However, this time I have this quote, sent to me by my friend Cindy:


Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races, one after another. -Walter Elliot


I may be having trouble staying "on the wagon" lately. I may be having to reboot my diet again and again, but I think that may be a key to dieting.  Not just falling off the wagon and staying there on the side of the road while the wagon train leaves you in its dust, but picking yourself up and running to catch up with wagon before it leaves you behind (extended metaphor ends here.) Each time I have to reboot, it is just one of the short races Elliot refers to in the quote above.  Add them up together and the perseverance that comes from that will eventually help me get to my goal. (I hope.)

Today's Tastiness Part Two

Today is Sunday! That means I made my two meals for the week.  One is an old favorite and one is brand new recipe.

I've been craving some soup because of the cold.  I'm not much of a soup person, though, so I wasn't sure what to make.  But then I found this recipe  in my stack of recipes. It was sent to me by my friend Monica last February, but I've never made it.  I'm not sure why except that I think I really have to be in the mood to make soup and I just haven't been.
It doesn't have a name (she sent it to me by email), so I'm just going to call it Sausage Soup.

1 garlic clove, minced
1 red onion, chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
15 oz kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can diced tomatoes with juice
Turkey sausage, cut into bite-size pieces
1/4 tsp thyme
1/4 black pepper
6 cups of chicken broth
1 cup of rice
Put it all in a crock pot on low for four hours.

My modifications: I'm not sure I got the right kind of sausage, I didn't have six cups of chicken broth (used three instead) and I only put in half cup of rice.  Plus, I swapped the kidney beans for black beans, because kidney beans just turn me off.  

I haven't tasted it yet (it's still cooking), but last year when she sent it to me, Monica said her family enjoyed it often.

My second meal this week, I've made a bunch of times. It's filling and tasty and reheats well. It's called Chicken with Rice and Peas. I'm just going to type it in with my modifications.

1 bag of frozen pea

1 cup of microwaveable brown rice

Cooking spray

1 pound chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces

1/4 cup of soy sauce

Cook rice in microwave. Brown chicken in skillet with cooking spray. Once browned, add rice, frozen peas, soy sauce to skillet and heat through. 

So that's what I'm eating this week. What's cooking at your house?

Exhausted (in the Best of Ways)

Right now, I am exhausted. Bone tired. Weary. Worn out. You get the picture.  It means, though, that I've been living life this week, and I love that.

My sister had her third baby on Tuesday. I believe I've mentioned that earlier, but what I did not mention was that Natalie immediately had to go  into the NICU because of an intestinal problem and had to have surgery on Friday.  Also, on Thursday blood tests came back that confirmed Natalie has Down Syndrome.  I've been spending some time each day at the hospital with my sister and Natalie. It's been an emotional and exhausting and emotionally exhausting time.  It's hard to see such a small baby hooked up to so many monitors and ivs, but we are thankful she is a healthy weight and had no other major health problems beside the stomach issue. Once that gets resolved in the next couple of weeks she won't have any further problems with it.

Friday I drove to Greenville and back for work. After work I met Amie and Cindy for our drive to Asheville for the Hot Chocolate 10k.   I've never really spent much time in Asheville, but it is a really cool city. We stayed at an awesome hotel within walking distance to downtown and the race start.  We ate two of the best meals at two different restaurants (Tupelo Honey and Innucci's). 

The race was both wonderful and horrible, but I think most races usually are (thus my love/hate relationship with running).  We ran along the French Broad River most of the time, and it was beautiful. It was also freezing cold. Literally.  The water they were handing out at water stations was turning to ice in their hands before they could give it to us. We had a plan to walk one minute every mile, and it was a good one. It made us focus on only one mile at a time.  I was really feeling good for most of the race, but hit a wall somewhere in the fifth mile.  That's when I turned to Cindy and said, "I don't want to do this anymore."  We walked a bit extra there. Plus, when we got to the last uphill we definitely had to walk that.  It was brutal. But as you looked up the hill, you could see that most people were walking it. When we rounded the final bend, we ran again, because I didn't want Amie to see us walking.  

My time was not as good as it was for my first 10k, so that is a little disappointing.  I can't figure it out. It looks like it will be almost five minutes longer whenever they post the official results, but I just don't think  I walked as much as I did during the Fall Harvest 10k.  However, Cindy made a good point. It shouldn't be about the number, but about how it makes you feel. After the race, we drove Amie down the course so she could see how pretty it was, and it really blew my mind how far we ran.

Also disappointing was the actual hot chocolate served at the Hot Chocolate 10k.  It was un-drinkable. In the end it was okay, because we got real hot chocolate at a shop downtown later to make up for it.

So clearly the week had some ups and downs, but it was a life fully lived. Here are some pictures from my week. Race photography by Amie.

*No post race oranges were available, so I had to take my traditional picture with a banana!

My Perfect Day

My friend Abi, who just had her second baby in August, was feeling overwhelmed last month with all she needs and wants to accomplish on a daily basis.  She came up with a plan to write out her perfect day, including everything she hoped to accomplish, and then try to live it daily. 

She suggested I do the same, and I think it makes a lot of sense for me.  I love lists and checking things off. Plus, this kind of planning helps you visualize what you need to do, which makes you more likely to actually do it.  I made mine just as it applies to diet and exercise. Here's what I got:

Make cereal with almond milk and fruit topping for breakfast.  Savor each bite of the sweetness. Drink a glass of water with breakfast.

Go to work. Start in on my first liter of water within the first half hour. Be refreshed by the cleanliness of it. Finish the first liter by 10 a.m.

Eat snack of fruit (banana or clementine) at 11 a.m. Remember that God made this fruit specifically to nourish our bodies and give us energy. If hungry earlier, eat two morning snacks, one at 10 and one at 11:30 a.m. Be glad that I brought an extra snack to work for this reason, and not upset that I am extra hungry for no reason.

Finish second liter of water by 12:30.

Go workout at 12:30 p.m.  Either run, swim, elliptical or walk with a friend for 45 minutes. Be thankful for the time away from my desk to clear my head and re-energize.  Remember and appreciate the physical changes of the last year that allow me to move this way.

Return from gym and eat lunch brought from home that includes one veggie at about 1:30 or 2 with half a liter of water. Be glad that I took the time to prepare for the week properly on Sunday by cooking and packaging my meals.  Feel relief from the water after my work out.

Eat snack of almonds or protein bar at 3:30 or 4. Finish third liter of water. Recognize the full feeling that comes from protein.

After work two nights a week, go to weight room for 30 minutes. After work once a week, Turbo Kick! Take note of my new-ish muscles and have fun kicking and punching to awesome music.

Get home from work and eat prepared meal with at least one veggie, a glass of water or Cystal Lite and a second fruit or veggie if needed about 6:30. Unless it's a TurboKick night and then eat when I get home at 7 p.m. Be thankful for veggies and their naturally low calories, yet surprisingly filling, and enjoy the tasty meal.

No snacks after dinner. Because I have goals!

Planks before shower if I have not done them in the weight room that day.  Note how I have improved in form and time with these planks since the beginning of the year.

Reflect on the day and bible reading before bed. Remember that weight loss is not all about what I eat, but a lot about mental preparation.

I maybe need to print this out and put it somewhere I will see it a lot so I remember all of this. But right now, I want to know - What's your perfect day look like?

In Honor of My New Niece Natalie Grace

For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.


I am reminded today that our creator does wonderous things when he creates our bodies. It makes me grateful for both my body and the tiny body of Natalie Grace, born yesterday. I pray that my life will be a healthy example for her and can't wait to see the girl she will become.

Hungry, Hungry Jill-o

Today I am hungry. I've eaten the same foods I usually eat, I'm not starving myself, but I don't seem to ever be full.  It happens from time to time, but it's exasperating.   It makes it just that much harder to stay on track if you're hungry all day. It's why a lot of people give up on diets after just a few days, cause they cut down on calories so much that they are starving.

In one of the books of the Hunger Games, the main character refers to it as a "hollow day," because no matter what she eats she knows she will still be hungry. I totally know what she means.

So how should I deal with it? Eat extra snacks? I would've if I'd brought them to work with me. As it was, I had an extra clementine, which was not much.  Drink extra water? Working on it.  Distract myself with other tasks? I've got work up to my eyeballs and a sister who was possibly having a baby today, four weeks early. (She did have it by the way, Natalie Grace.) That gives me plenty to think about, but it has not erased the gnawing in my stomach.

Do you experience the hollowness from time-to-time too? How do you handle it?
I'm about to go eat a slightly larger-than-average dinner and see if that takes care of it.

Today's Tastiness

I've had some requests recently to share more recipes. I thought maybe I could make it a weekly thing, where I share the recipes I make?  We'll see. This week I made two. Click the recipe title to see the full recipe.

Black Bean Chicken
This was super easy. It was an open and dump it in the slow cooker kind of meal.  I added a package of frozen corn and a package of frozen peas to up the veggie content, although next time I might replace the peas with some other vegetable..  I left out the rice and was going to cook it separately, as I saw a lot of comments on the recipe that said that made it mushy.  However, when I sat down to eat it, there was so much food to a portion I didn't think I actually needed the rice. It was really good. Here's the finished product:

Crustless Spinach, Onion and Feta Quiche
Now something you may not know about me is that I hate eggs. They are revolting to me.  They have always grossed me out, especially the smell. Mainly this affects breakfast, especially when you're getting fast food (Of course, I don't do that so much any more) because every bloody breakfast sandwich has a disgusting sheet of egg on it. But I digress.  I'm trying to be a bit more grown-up in my approach to egg, plus eggs have a lot of protein, so when I saw this recipe and the picture looked pretty tasty, I thought I'd give it a whirl. I added green peppers to the spinach and onion to up the veggie quotient. It was pretty good hot, but rewarmed today for lunch was not the greatest thing.

Here are some pics of the progress.

Egg. Gross.



Added the veggies.


  

Finished product.



Myriad Thoughts on Prayer

Prayer is an area of my spiritual life that I have always had trouble with.  I just don't get it sometimes.

Here's What I Don't Get
First, if God is omniscient, then he knows what I'm thinking and feeling. Why do I need to voice it? Is it just for my benefit? I realize I need/want to praise him and thank him as part of my prayers, and I need to repent and ask forgiveness.  But why do I need to ask Him to help my friend find a job or my sister to deliver a healthy baby? Why doesn't he know that I (and he/she)want these things with all of my (and his/her) heart?

Which leads me to my next question, who am I to ask God for anything?  I know the Bible says I am a child of His and an heir to His kingdom, but he is the all-mighty, the creator of everything in the heavens, on the earth and under the sea.  I'm just Jill Stuckey, why do I get to call the shots, petitioning the God of the universe? Except

My other trouble with prayer is that I don't understand why some prayers are answered and some prayers are not.  Does it have to do with the heart of the prayee or does it have to do God's plans?  A lot of the time I try to remind myself that I can't see the whole picture, only God can. Being an inquisitive human though, I'm always trying to figure this one out.

Here's What I Don't Like About Prayer
I don't like that too often it becomes a wishlist of sorts when I do it. I spend way more time asking instead of worshiping. I'd like to spend time praying for everyone in my life daily, but I dislike when my prayers become rote lists of requests.  I don't like when I have told someone that I would pray for them, and then I forget to do it more than once. I don't like that I use the word "pray" as a verb too much. (As in "I pray you will...")

Here's What I Know (and Like) about Prayer
I know that I like praising God. I know that I like praying because I can talk with him like he is a friend. I know that it sometimes brings peace in the middle of a storm. I know that it shouldn't be a just-before-bedtime kind of thing, but something that should be woven into my whole day. I know it's hard for me to pray for myself and my struggles, because I feel so blessed and therefore unable to ask for more. I know that I like it when I'm praying for someone in particular and God leads me to other things to pray for that person or even something else.

Here's Some Things the Bible Tells us about Prayer:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phil 4:6

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." -Romans 12:12

"The prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well." - James 5:15

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray." -1Peter 4:7 (We have to exercise self-control to be able to pray?!)

Our prayers are collected in the throne room of heaven and smell sweet to God: "Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." - Revelation 5:8 (Thanks to Pastor Talbot for this today!)

Wrap-Up
I wonder if I approach prayer too logically?  Is it meant to be something that is understood by your soul, but perhaps not your conscious? I don't know. At any rate, I bet you weren't expecting a discourse on prayer when you visited my blog today.  You may think it doesn't have much to do with my healthy weight-loss journey.  In truth, I do not often pray to God asking him to help me lose weight, even though it's something my heart wants so much.  I'm not sure I'm ready to get into why I don't pray for that (just skimming the surface of thinking about it sounds like a whole other blog post to me.)  However, prayer and Christianity are important parts of my life, affecting every part of my life, so I think it works as a topic for this blog.

Sorry if I tried to cram too much stuff into one post. It's just stuff I've been thinking about for years, but then there was a great sermon on prayer today at church, which stirred it to the surface. Maybe it should've been a series. I'd love your thoughts on any or all of the above. Do you have any favorite verses or lessons from prayer? Please share!

Run for Your Life

So just when I was on the verge of a serious pre-race panic, today I had the best run (physically, mentally and emotionally) of the last few months.

Hold on to your seats, folks, this is where it gets exciting. Cindy and I did 6 miles today in one hour and 8 minutes, which included only 4 minutes of walking! I still can't believe it myself. That means we logged over an hour of solid running time!  AND, wait for it, much of it was on snow and/or mud!  I can not tell you how hard it is to run on either of these surfaces.  When running through mud, your feet get suctioned in and you have to pull a little with each step to keep moving. Plus, the whole time you're thinking "gross, gross, ick, ick." (There was a lot of squealing out of both of us.) Snow, while not as slick as ice, can still be slippery; you have to constantly brace yourself so you won't fall on your bum (neither of us did).

Basically, the above paragraph could be summarized by saying: we are hardcore.

Prior to today, the longest I've run since October was when I did 3.5 miles the day after Christmas (and blogged about it.) The day after that I started getting sick, I ended up taking a week off and then when I got back into it, I had lost a lot of stamina.  Since then I've only been doing  a few miles at a time and even then I've been walking a lot instead of running.

But it helps to have a partner. We both agreed today that we would not have gotten far without the other to keep us company ( in the beginning) or push us when we wanted to quit (nearer the end).

Cindy is also my partner for the Hot Chocolate 10k (6.1 miles) in Asheville next Saturday. Asheville, as most of you should know, is considered mountainous, but this race is billed as "Asheville's flatest 10k!" This is exceptionally good, since I kind of refuse to train on hills.  I've looked at the course online and it appears to be mostly flat with one sweet downhill at the beginning and one horrific uphill right at the end.

Today's run was a big confidence booster, and I feel ready to take on the 10k!

PS It is beautiful to run in a snowy setting. See below.

To Weigh or Not to Weigh...That is the Question

I've been thinking this week about not weighing any more.  Ha!  No, that's not true.  Just not weighing as often.  

Up to this point, I have previously been officially weighing in once week, but often "cheating" and weighing several times a week.  A lot of times these "cheat" weigh ins have a big affect on my mood for the day, for better or worse. Over Christmas while I was "off" the diet, I was also "off" the scale. I didn't think about my weight and that was a wonderful gift.

On Monday of this week when I was officially starting back full force I meant to weigh and get an official starting point, but I totally forgot! This is a little hard to believe with how focused on the scale I was in the 17 months prior to Christmas.  So then Thursday, my official weigh-day, rolled around, and I purposely didn't weigh. I liked not having it affect my mood.

Now, I don't think this can go on forever. The scale is part of the accountability and part of the reward, so I will have to check in with it occasionally (I'm thinking every other week).  Plus, when I'm doing good with my healthy eating and exercise it is exciting to weigh, because it's often lower. 

I know some people weigh every day, and I've always thought that was not a good idea.  If you're weighing every day, I think it is more about your body's regular fluctuations than it is about actually losing permanent pounds.

What do you think? What's your philosophy on weighing?

Cabin Fever

So after three snow days, I can officially say I am glad to be going back to work tomorrow. I don't want to sound ungrateful for this unexpected mini-vacation, I really appreciated it. As I said before, I think it gifted me with some much needed rest that helped me kick my cold.

While I love rest and reading and copious amounts of television, I know now that it's all best in moderation. I am not made to be cooped up inside!  I was going stir crazy not being able to leave the house*, as I believe my roommate would attest.

Plus, it was like my own private episode of Temptation Island (wasn't that a bad reality show a few years back?)  Just lying around all day left very little for me to think about except what kind of foods I had in my pantry, and how it would be great to eat them.  It didn't help that the beef stroganoff that I made this week was kind of disgusting.  

Anyway, it made for a pretty difficult first three days back on the wagon, but I persevered.  This afternoon, I was on the verge of losing control when I decided to have a Kit Kat bar.  It was purchased during a slightly weak moment at the cash register during a weekly shopping a few weeks back.  I ate the Kit Kat and logged the calories as a snack. It wasn't enough to make me feel un-deprived, but I was able to walk away from the kitchen after that.  I was still pretty bored, though.  So, when a friend called to see if I could go out to dinner I jumped at the chance.  Getting out of the house and getting good food? Yes, please!

So while I usually try not to eat out on weeknights, I feel this was a special circumstance. You know what? Even with the Kit Kat and the unscheduled meal out, where I was able to choose responsibly, I stayed within my calorie range for the day! It's slightly unbelievable, but I double checked my calorie counts when I got home.  Now, I feel much more normal and ready for another good day tomorrow!

  

*I actually did leave the house for extended gym sessions both Tuesday and Wednesday, but those hours were just drops in the bucket.  I suppose I could've gone somewhere else, but didn't really have anywhere to go and didn't want to spend any money.

Snowmeggdon 2011

The story of a girl and some magically, never-melting snow.

As you can see I've had a pretty sedentary and slightly monotonous snowcation. It's been great.  I think it has helped me kick this cold for good.  I am starting to go slightly stir crazy being inside doing nothing, but I did venture out to the gym today. Yay for getting out of the house and meeting goals! 

Tomorrow our offices are closed for the third day.  Here's hoping I can continue to hold out against the call of the food pantry.

How'd you spend your snow days?

Snow Day

So just as I was completely geared up for getting back to my routine, Rock Hill got about five inches of snow dumped on it today.  I don't know where you live, but around here, five inches shuts us down.  That means no work and no driving today.

Of course, I was excited by the extra day off. I saw no reason why it should affect my plans.  When I got up, I thought that I would just eat my meals as planned and that if it cleared up I could drive to the gym and have time for an extra-long workout.

However, the beautiful white stuff continued to fall most of the day so I didn't want to venture out.  Instead, I went with workout plan B. Sparkpeople.com has free, streaming 10 minute workout videos on its site that I've never tried, but always wanted to try.  I did two, and while they were not my ideal form of working out, they did help me work up a little bit of a sweat.  After that I spent 20 minutes on my roommate's stationary bike, which again is not my ideal workout, but it did the trick. So while it wasn't my best workout ever,  at least I got it done!

Tomorrow's a scheduled run day, and I also need to do some weights.  I seriously hope I can make it to the gym, although work has already announced that it's closed again! (Luckily, even when school closes, they keep our marvelous gym open to give the kids something constructive to do.)

As for my other goals,  I drank all of my water and did my planks.  I also stuck to my meals, even though being home all day makes me want to snack all day long.  So even with a highly unusual first day back into a routine, I accomplished all of my goals.

Hope you enjoyed your snow day! Right now, I have one more snack on my schedule and some room in my calories for a homemade hot chocolate, and I'll talk to you later!

The First of the Last

In the past whenever I would start a diet, I wouldn't tell anyone.  It was a secret. Mainly, because I knew there was a good chance that I would start and then fail in the first week or two. Not telling anyone would save me the embarrassment of  having to explain to everyone why I was back to eating unhealthy foods once I failed.  Even when I started this particular journey 18 months ago, I only told one person.

Now that I'm actually writing that out, I can see how flawed the thinking behind it is.  It's like I was betting I was going to fail before I ever started. Plus, the longer I write this blog and the more people I talk with about my journey and their journeys, the more I realize how much we all need each other to be successful.  We need each other for accountability and support and tips. The more you talk about it with others, the more you realize there are a lot of people out there who struggle with the same things.

Tomorrow, I'm starting yet another reboot of my diet and this time I want everyone to know.  Why? Because I want to kick this weight loss thing in the butt once and for all, and I want any help I can get from any of you.  I don't really have specific ways you can help in mind, and your sweet comments and helpful tips have already meant so much to me.  I guess I just don't want any of you to accept any excuses from me from the next several weeks.

So what's my plan?  Same as what has worked for me in the past. Tracking my calories (eating between 1300 and 1600 daily).  Five cardio workouts a week. Two or three weight lifting sessions a week.  Drinking water like I'm paid to do it.  Eating five servings of fruits and veggies a day.  Doing two planks a day.  Only eating out two meals a week.

I've already made my meals for this week, packaged them into individual servings and logged it all into Sparkpeople. It's a pretty good start.

While I've lost approximately 90 pounds to date, I want to act like I'm starting from scratch.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy, proud, ecstatic, jumping for joy that I have lost 90 pounds.  But I can't continue to rest on my laurels.  I need to kick it into high gear and finish this. I can do it.

If you're looking to lose weight, now's the time. Whether it's 10 pounds or 110 pounds.  It's a new year and a new week.  Figure out what's been holding you back and then figure out a plan to achieve your goals. You can do it.

We can do it together.

Workout Playlist: A Key to Success

One of the biggest hurdles I've had to overcome over the last 18 months is maintaining a kick-butt playlist that gets me up and moving.  Okay, so maybe "big hurdle" is a relative term, but it can be tricky to have an amazingly awesome playlist, because once something achieves amazingly awesomeness, you start to get tired of it.  A playlist needs constant tending to maintain amazingly awesome.

Anyway, as a result, I keep my ears open for good upbeat songs, and regularly scour the internet for new stuff.  Fitness Magazine's website and Running.com have all kinds of suggested playlists, but you kind of have to sift through all of that to get what works for you.

So I thought I'd share with you the fruits of my labors.  Just a selection. You may not agree with all my choices. You may laugh at some.  But if you're like me, always searching for the perfect workout song, maybe this will be helpful.

It would be superawesome if I linked all these songs to Itunes or YouTube or something, but that would take a long time and I don't want to spend my whole Saturday afternoon on the computer.  Sorry.  But feel free to head over there and take a listen yourself.

This is specifically from my running list, but it could work for any cardio. I just pulled twenty from the top today.  Maybe I'll share more in a future post.

1. Raise Your Glass, Pink (my newest acquisition)
2. Girls Lie Too, Terri Clark (I've loved this for years, but just recently discovered its greatness for running)
3. Forget You, Glee (still my go-to dance party song)
4. King of Anything, Sara Bareilles (fun to sing along to, as well...thanks to Jenna for pointing me towards this)
5. Best Song Ever, Katie Armiger (The beat/music is awesome...thanks to Toby for recommending)
6. Let My Love Open the Door, Pete Townsend (an older one, but still good)
7. Misery, Maroon 5 (a little slower, but makes me want to groove)
8. Sweet Child O' Mine, Guns N' Roses (The guitar solo at the beginning really gets you moving, but then the whole thing gets really repetitive, so I skip it once I get about halfway through)
9. Just Fine, Mary J. Blige (Slower beat for running, but great for dance partying)
10. No One Like You or Foreverandever Etc, David Crowder Band (great song!)
11. If You're Wondering If I Want You To, Weezer (um, one of my current fav songs)
12. Party in the USA, Miley Cyrus (this was really popular with the teen-aged friends last summer. Now it makes me smile and think of them when it comes on)
13. I Do Not Hook Up and My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson (I don't think there's anyone better to run to than Ms. Clarkson)
14. Walk Like an Egyptian, The Bangles (seriously, this is a great workout song)
15. Grandmother Song, Vienna Teng (great beat, great girl power message by my favorite artist to see live)
16. Be OK, Ingrid Michaelson (It becomes kind of chant as I run, "I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay, be okay today")
17. One Week, Barenaked Ladies (Takes me straight back to 1998 and my first roommate, Nancy)
18. Just Friends, Jonas Brothers (Laugh if you must, but those Jo Bros have some good beats. This was one of the first songs I discovered that would keep me running when I wanted to quit back when I could only run for one minute at a time)
19. Holding Out for a Hero, Bonnie Tyler (Workout songs don't get better than this, just ask Kevin Bacon)
20. Pump It, Black Eyed Peas (You could list any number of BEPs songs, but none makes me move the elliptical faster than this one.)

If you've got any great workout songs to share with me, I would love to have them. Post them in the comments section below!

Today's Challenge

So after turning a small corner yesterday and actually feeling some positivity, today I got smacked with a challenge first thing.  I walked out the door this morning without my lunch.  The weird thing is I also forgot my snacks. I remembered them while I was putting my gym bag in the car and went back in the house for them, but completely forget the lunch until I got to work and went to put it in the fridge.  Crazy!

Anyway, I had four options:

1. Go out to lunch (boo! I would not be able to eat my lunch from home like I had promised myself I would.)
2. Go home for my whole lunch hour and skip the gym altogether (boo! I had also promised myself five workouts this week and skipping today's would set me back)
3. Skip lunch and try to exist only on snacks for the day. 
4. Make a mad dash to the house to get the lunch and then go to the gym for 35-40 minutes.

I ruled out #1 and #2 pretty quickly. I think writing yesterday's post helped with that.  It just made me better prepared mentally when the challenge came up. I was seriously considering #3; there are days when that would be a valid option. (Although, please note that I do not advocate skipping meals, nor do I hardly ever skip a meal.) Today, however, I was starving by 11 a.m., and I had already had one of my precious snacks, which means I would've never made it without lunch. That left me only with option #4.

So, I did it!  I raced home and back in 15 minutes. Bonnie (my beautiful Golden Retreiver) was highly confused to see me home in the middle of the day, but she didn't seem to mind. I went over to the gym with Monica, my regular lunch time work out partner, and got to walk for 10 minutes before hitting up the weight room. 

Hooray for mental preparation and will power! 

The Roller Coaster

I had a realization today. I'm sick of hearing myself whine about myself.

Yes, I've been sick (with a cold, not West Nile* virus!).  Yes, it has lasted a long time.  Yes, it means I have not been able to sleep well for several nights. Yes, that means I've been exhausted and cranky with no energy. No, I have not had one ounce of motivation. No, coming back from a Christmas diet-break has not been as easy or effective as coming back from the Thanksgiving diet-break. No, I have not been eating a healthy breakfast or enough fruits and vegetables or drinking adequate amounts of water this week.

But worse than all of the above is the way I have been feeling, thinking, talking and blogging lately.  I have been very "woe-is-me" and very unable to "see the light at the end of the tunnel."  I knew my attitude sucked, and I knew the whole time I just needed to adjust my thinking, but I couldn't do it.  I didn't have the energy or the desire to shift my thinking or my eating.  I'm blaming the sickness.  I think you know that is not like me.

I'm still not back to an inspirational, one hundred percent "healthy living or bust" mentality.  Nor am I back up to my normal energy levels.  But I am sick of hearing myself complain, so here's what I have been doing right:

• I've worked out three days in a row, running twice and lifting weights once.
• I've eaten the lunch I brought from home three days in a row.
• Today I drank water like I'd been walking in a desert and I'd just found an oasis.

Uh, I think that's all I've got right now.  Oh wait, here's another one!

• I'm eating dinner at home tonight!

Anyway, several people have asked how I'm doing today and here's what I'm saying: I'm on track to getting back on track.  A few days ago I wasn't sure I was ever going to get back to normal and thought I'd just live the rest of my life a crazy mess. Now, I'm thinking that might not be true. Well, I guess that really depends on your definition of a crazy mess.

*Is West Nile a current cultural reference? Swine Flu also seems out-of-date...is there a more relevant disease circulating these days?

Wish I Had a Better Report

So I made it back to work today, which means no excuses for not working out.  I missed one whole week of my 10k running training program last week while I was sick, and with my next 10k three weeks away, I really needed to tie on my sneakers and hit the road again today.

The good news is, I did. Against every fiber of my being, I put on my workout clothes, my ear wrap and my sneakers and headed out the door to my favorite neighborhood  near the university (it's all flat.) The first mile felt good. After that I started feeling my shoe rubbing against my left foot and my right calf becoming exceptionally achy.

The bad news is that I was supposed to run 3 miles today, and I only made it to 2.5. It may sound crazy to give up with only a half a mile to go, but it got progressively harder to keep going. I have such a love/hate relationship for running; there's no other way to describe it. It's the most challenging thing I've ever done, although I know I've blogged enough about that before.

So where am I now? Well, despite not making my goal, I am feeling better for getting moving  in the first place.  I think maybe this week will be sort of a transition week, where I start getting used to working out again and eating a bit more normally and then hopefully next week I will be fully prepared and in the right mindset to tackle these 11 pounds (uh, I don't think I mentioned before, but I gained eight pounds during the two weeks of Christmas break, so I'm now 11 pounds from my goal.)

I just wish I had a little more inspiration, motivation and energy right now.  I think I need to try something different, shake it up either with workouts or my food, but I don't know what to try.

Status Update

I enjoyed my two week break from following a diet plan and indulging in the tastes of the season. My plan was to be back on the straight and narrow starting today, as I would be back to work and into a routine.

Except that I never made my meals yesterday. I just still have no energy from the silly cold I've had for a week now and didn't ever get enough motivation together yesterday to get up from the couch and make them.  Today I didn't go to work, because I just can't shake this cold.

However, this is bad because the longer I go without getting back on track, the less likely I feel like I'll be able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back on it.  When I went off the diet the week before Thanksgiving, I had supreme motivation to try hard again when I got back.  Now, I just don't have that. I'm missing the motivation and the energy and the positive attitude I need to get started.   I haven't worked out (aside from my New Years' resolution of daily 30 second planks, which I am hating, by the way) since Sunday a week ago. That is definitely the longest I've gone since I started this journey.

Aside from the lack of energy, I think I'm mostly just afraid. Afraid of trying and failing.  Afraid that I will never make it to 100 pounds lost (let alone what I need to lose beyond that.).

I may not be updating the blog every day from now on. It's harder to be motivating when I'm floundering, plus I feel like I just keep saying the same things over and over.

What Will You Gain When You Lose?

I look for motivation and inspiration in everything I read and watch.  The picture below is from Fitness Magazine, and it was an ad for the Special K Challenge (a diet where you eat nothing but Special K products, uh, no thank you, but I love the ad).

The headline read: What will you gain when you lose?  I loved it so much, I took a picture and ripped it out so I can post it and see it again later.  It's so true.  When you work hard at your goals and accomplish them, you receive so much more than just the end result.  In my case, yes, I've lost weight  and I'm healthier, but I've also gained confidence and moxie and most of the other things listed below.  

This is the time of year when everyone resolves to be more, do more, etc. It's important to set goals, but I think this ad just reminded me that it is about so much more than the goals themselves.  When you set your New Year's resolutions today, take a minute and try to visualize the outcomes and the many ways they may affect you.  It all helps as you pursue your goals. 

In addition to my normal goals of drinking all my water, exercising regularly, eating within a specific calorie range, etc., my new year's resolution is to perform two 30 second plank exercises a day. Apparently planks are the best way to strengthen your abdominals and can be done anywhere.  Adding a minute to my day seems highly possible right now. Do you set New Year's resolutions? If so, care to share in the comments section below?