I weighed on Friday for the first time in just over two months. It has been wonderful, the not weighing and the eating whatever I felt like.
However, I've gained 15 pounds since then. Not cool. Apparently I'm not meant to live a life where I can eat whatever I feel like. I'm meant to live a life of counting every calorie and avoiding ice cream and sweets like the plague. Wonderful.
I took this information in stride on Friday. I didn't let it affect me (see my happiness post) and planned to start trying again on Monday. Over the weekend I tried to eat the foods left in my house from my time of freedom that do not jive with my diet plan. Some chips, some ice cream, some beer, you get the picture. Was this a healthy attitude? Probably not.
I made my meals yesterday and then I realized that today I had plans to eat lunch with a friend and dinner at a cookout. Two situations I can not control, so I gave up on today. I got breakfast on the way to work and made an unhealthy choice at lunch. Was that the right attitude? Probably not. Was I a little bit scared of failing to lose again? Probably.
Plus, I've been reading a LOT lately. I love this, but the more I read, the harder it is to return to the real world. Is that crazy? Probably.
Where does this leave me? A little depressed and a little resolved to try again tomorrow. It seems like everyone around me is moving forward with goals or big life changes (marriage, babies, etc.), and I'm still here trying to lose the same pounds I've already lost once before. "Frustrated" sums it up.
Any encouragement you can provide would be appreciated.
We'll do it! Starting with our run today at lunch:) I saw this phrase and thought it summed up our weight loss journies.
ReplyDeleteRun if you can
Walk if you have to
Crawl if you must
Just never give up.
I believe in you Jill! Your smart, funny, gifted, pretty, and determined (or stubborn, if you like). You won't let this set back keep you from your ultimate goal. Praying for you, friend!
ReplyDeleteHi Jill,
ReplyDeleteI share your frustration with weight loss and just wanted to share some things that have helped me. I read a book called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. She talks about how God made us to crave Him, but instead, a lot of women try to satisfy this craving with food instead of enriching our relationships with God. God may have given you this struggle so that you learn that you have to rely on Him for motivation and willpower, etc. (I have started praying every night for God to help me with willpower and self-control over food. It may seem silly to pray about food, but the book explains that anything that takes up our thoughts and distracts us from Him needs to be taken seriously). She also explains that even though other women may not struggle with their weight and may be able to eat whatever they want, that does not mean that they are not struggling with other issues in their life. Plus even though they are skinny on the outside, that does not mean they are healthy on the inside. You completed a triathlon!! Lots of thinner girls could never do that.
I think I am beginning to learn that I cannot eat whatever I want and expect the scale to stay the same. That just isn't how my body was made. The only way not counting calories would work for me is if I only ate whole/real foods and cut out everything processed (and I'm not sure if I could ever really do that).
You are not the only one struggling with this.
I think we have to learn that a healthier relationship with food doesn't focus on everything you are giving up, but empowers you with every healthy decision that you make.
Here are 2 blogs that I like: http://www.katheats.com/ and http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/
Also, you may want to get a new cookbook with some new healthy recipes (nothing is worse than cooking the same thing every night and getting tired of "diet" food).
I know you've said in the past that you don't want to do Weight Watchers because it shouldn't cost money to lose weight, but it may be worth a shot for just a few months to get back on track. Plus they changed their plan and now fruits and veggies are 0 points which might work well with your yummy veggie selection that you receive weekly.
Even if you mess up and eat something not so good in the morning, that doesn't mean that your entire day is shot. Just feel empowered by every other decision you make that is healthy the rest of the day. One slip up does not have to ruin your entire day.
You are an amazing person who inspires so many people.
Sorry to jam so much info in my comment, but I have been thinking about weight loss struggles a lot lately and have a lot on my mind. Not sure how much applies to you, but wanted share what helps me. If you ever need someone to talk to about all of this just let me know.
Mel (I went to Cathy's Bible study a few times)
I know what you mean about reading -- the more time I spend "escaping" into a good book, the less time I want to spend being active/exercising in the real world.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts, Mel. When I feel the most crazy, it helps the most to know that other people feel the same way sometimes. I guess right now I feel a little sad about not being able to eat what I want, but that feels stupid. I need to look for reasons to be happy about eating healthy - like the way it makes me feel.
ReplyDeleteThat book sounds good. I might get it.
Also: I think your blog is my favorite health blog because you are so honest about the process. It's not full of nonsensical ravings like "oh, I ENJOY eating carrots for dessert." There are too many fitness blogs out there where I think the bloggers are so eager to be positive that they never acknowledge the trials and tribulations. Maybe for some people it's easy. But the people I really want to hear from? They're the ones who struggle and succeed and fail but keep trying.
ReplyDelete