Yes, over the weekend I ate two meals out and had an afternoon snack of a milkshake and a small order of onion rings when I had to make a last minute run to the store during my gardening project. I know that is not the healthiest of choices, but it's not like I binged, eating an entire box of cookies or vat of ice cream.
Plus, ever since then I have been diligent in my calorie counts and working out, but it has been far from easy.
Everything this week diet-wise has been a fight. While for the most part, I've been hanging in there punch-for-punch, I feel like I'm very close to being knocked out. I just can't put so much effort into something and not get results.
Maybe it's all of the pressure I've been putting on myself for the last couple of weeks. I keep thinking "I just want to be done. I just want to make it." Last week when I weighed in at 99 pounds lost, I thought, "Finally, this is possible now. I can lose one more pound. I can be done* by this time next week."
Now I'm farther away and likely unable to make it to 100 pounds lost before I leave for England, a week from today. If I don't make it before I leave, I will gain a few more pounds while I'm there and be even further from the goal when I return.
Right now, despite the gain, I'm still pretty committed to giving it another good effort in the next week. Surely my body is just holding on to water or fat or something. If I power through this plateau, I could have a big loss next week. Of course there's no telling what sort of effect this scale setback will have on my psyche over the weekend. I could end up throwing in the towel completely.
Right now I'm just so exhausted. I've been trying to lose these last 10 pounds since OCTOBER. I can't eat less calories or workout more than I do now. It seems my body just doesn't want to be any smaller.
*I know that I will never be "done." I know that this is a healthy lifestyle change. I just want to make it to this goal.
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so sorry hun, that's gotta be disheartening, eh? i know you can do it, and you've come so far to give up on yourself.
ReplyDeleteone question. do you have a very specific time/situation in which you weigh in? our body weight can fluxuate daily with the food we put in and other things we flush out... you probably do, but i just wanted to check in case that was an X-factor.
YOU CAN DO IT!
I say we hang out this weekend and make healthy choices together. Also, we can go running again if you have the time. I loved it so much... even though my shins hurt for days.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Jill Stuckey. Please do not give up.
Jill, you are so close, and you know it. It's great to see the light at the end of the tunnel (although it may be a very dim light), but remember to look back at how far the tunnel you've come through. You have accomplished SO much, Jill Stuckey. Don't forget that. You are almost there, don't give up quite yet. I love you!
ReplyDelete