The Difference of a Few Pounds

I've been wondering a lot about the difference between the weight I've lost thus far and my 100-pound goal. I argue with myself a lot about it, actually.  I have two schools of thought on the subject.

First, I've been very focused on the number 100 for a long time. So focused that most of the time I do not feel successful because I have not made it to 100 pounds lost yet. Five years ago, I half-jokingly wrote "Lose 100 pounds" on my life bucket list. Nineteen months ago, I made it my ultimate goal when I started this weight loss journey.  Neither time did I really believe I would actually ever lose 100 pounds.

However, I've lost 97 pounds to date.  That is a lot of weight.  That is more weight than I can lift in dumbbell or barbell form.  It's more weight than most weight loss success stories I read about in magazines.  It could almost be considered enough weight to form a whole 'nother person from. I'm very happy with how far I've come and how I look.

Somehow, miraculously, I am very close to losing 100 pounds.  Yet, even though I am within striking distance of that goal, I've somehow twisted my thinking so that I don't feel like I've accomplished anything without it.  I don't know how I've come to that, but it's the truth.  I think that's the source of all of the pressure I'm putting on myself lately.

So, I need to step back, look at the big picture and be thankful. Thankful for the clothes I fit into now. Thankful for the way my body moves and the way my lungs hold and release air.  Thankful for the hourglass silhouette that I didn't know I had.  Thankful for each and every one of the 97 pounds.

100 pounds will come someday, and it will come at the right time.  Moving from 80 pounds lost to 100 pounds has been a struggle that will take the better part of a year before its over. It's been frustrating. It's been hard.  Really, though, the longer it takes me to make it to 100 pounds lost, the better off I'll be.  The more practice I will have at eating well and the more lessons I will have learned about healthy living.  Not that either of those things will end once I make it to my goal, most definitely not.  it's just the longer it takes, the easier it will be to never find those lost pounds again. There's something about a journey, and not the destination, that teaches so much.