Thankful Thursdays: It's been awhile!

I'm so sorry I have neglected Thankful Thursdays for so long.  I hope to be better about it in the future. But enough of that, let's get down to the business of being thankful.

Today I'm thankful:

That I got spend Christmas with these wonderful people.

I love 'em and I don't get to see them enough.

That we got crafty this Christmas.

My sister and Dad stepped up to help me create these wonderful things: top left: tree paintings with button embellishments; top right: a giant flower for an empty wall in Mandy's house; bottom right: an iphone charger from a copy of Bossypants*; bottom left, a book safe (all credit goes to my dad on this one, he spent hours carving it for me)*


 That I got some wonderful new pictures to hang on my walls.

 Both have positive messages to start the new year with and look great in my house!

That Les Miserables was as spectacular as I hoped it would be.

I read the book this summer. All (or most) of the 1400+pages and I'm so glad I did. I'd never seen the musical on stage before, and the movie lived up to all of my expectations.

I feel like there are lots of other things I should be listing here in my first Thankfulness list in AWHILE, but I'm a little car-lagged (I just made that phrase up...like jet-lagged, but tired from driving. Kapesh?)

Merry Christmas!

*Please note that my nightstand holds four books now: Kings and Queens of England and Scotland (not pictured), The Making of Pride and Prejudice, my Bossypants book charger and Richard Foster's Prayer.  I'm nothing if not eclectic.

**I will never tell you which of my many books is now the home for my treasured possessions. Don't try to make me. It won't work.  Unless you're one of the handful of people who I told before I realized the security threat that posed to my treasures. If you're one of those people, please don't reveal the book safe's identity.

2012 in Review

I may have overdone it last year with the Year-in-Review posts.*  I do love a good year-in-review, but perhaps it's not necessary to have five separate posts on the subject.**

I've decided to start bestowing titles to my years.  

2010 would be the "Year of the Weight Loss."

2011 would be the "Year of Adventure"

2012 would be the "Year of the Book."***

While this year hasn't been quite as thrill seeking or quite as skinny as 2011, it still had some some truly wonderful memories.  Here are the top bits of 2012 (in no particular order):

I started actually tackling projects that I pin on Pinterest.  This was the first of many!

One of my most favorite cousins, Sarah, got married.  Sarah is the same age as me and we've been great friends, despite a large geographical distance, since we became pen pals around the 3rd or fourth grade. I'm so happy for her and happy I got to see my extended family this year (it doesn't happen every year).

In 2012 I discovered my love for race cheering, cheering at my friend Kristy and my brother Todd's first half marathons (pictured, respectively, below.  When done correctly, this can be the most fun way to spend a Saturday morning. 

In 2012, the remaining members of my girls high school small group graduated from high school.  I love them, and I'm so glad we've remained close.

My whole family was together for Thanksgiving. This doesn't happen often, so I feel extra blessed on years like this one.  I love my family.

I was a quarter for Halloween!  Prob not one of my favorite costumes, but memorable, nonetheless!

My friend Amie instituted a weekly group dinner at her house with my favorite people.  Easily the best night of the week.

I joined the choir! I feel like I've found my calling in life! (PS, I'm dead center in the slightly blurry picture below)

I achieved my dream of racing in a tutu at the color run!

My friends and I made a tribute to this greatest Harry Potter video. Skip to the 1:05 mark if you want to bypass us taking forever to get ready.

Last but not least, my friends and I made the BEST CALL ME MAYBE video EVER!
If you haven't seen it, watch it a few hundred times. I'd still like to get our views up to 1,000.

What was great for you in 2012?? I'd love to know!

*You can find them here, here, here, and here, if you're into reviewing Year-in-Reviews from previous years.

**Although, 2011 was a spectacularly good year.

***I've read 81 books thus far in 2012. More on that later.

Anatomy of a slide

It was a great week and half of WW.

I was doing well, eating healthier, but not totally going cold turkey on higher fat foods I love. I was extremely happy and felt good about working towards a goal again.

Then something happened last Thursday, and I lost all ability to stick to the plan. I was extremely hungry that day. You know, one of those "hollow days" where no matter what you eat you feel like a bottomless pit.

I rode it out okay on Thursday.  I had eggs and turkey sausage for dinner and that helped fill me up and stay within my points for the day.

But Friday was another "hollow day," combined with stress city, and suddenly I was done trying.  I got donuts for breakfast, which is never, ever a good solution because you can never fit them in with whatever calorie- or points-counting diet you're doing.  (Plus, I can hear my mom now, "Stop eating donuts, you don't want diabetes!" which is true, I don't want diabetes.)  I made it through the day okay, but when I got home I had Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for dinner, to feed my bad mood.  I told myself that it was better than going out for fast food, which is true, but it just doesn't work well with your points values when you had donuts for breakfast. Then later I had wine and chocolate cake at a friend's house.*

Saturday, I made it most of the day okay, until I got really hungry in the afternoon and had nothing good to snack on (I hadn't been to the grocery store this week yet) so I ate peanut butter straight out of the jar**. After that I was disappointed in myself and went to Zaxby's for dinner, which does not fix things, it just added lots of points onto lots of points.

By Sunday, I was disappointed in myself and irritated with food. I ate all three meals at restaurants, including donuts for breakfast again (aack!).  It should be noted that I did haul myself to the grocery store to replenish healthy things in my fridge and make a meal and a snack for the week.

At no point over this 3-4 day slide did I exercise, which would be a healthy move and give me extra points for eating. I've also been neglecting my water intake.

Today I weighed in, and I had gained a pound.***

Of course I did with a weekend that looked like that.

Today, I stopped at BoJangles for breakfast because I had kind of overslept.****  I stuck with the lunch I brought, but swerved for a Little Caesar's pizza on the way home. That was not in the plan.

The bad thing is WW has a plan for you to be able to splurge.  You're given your regular daily points, but you're also give 49 weekly points to use as you see fit. During this slide, I flew through that allotment.

I'm sad by how quickly I was able to fall off track, which makes me not want to work hard. I don't want to try really hard for a time just to give up and gain it all back. I mean, isn't that what happened after TWO YEARS of trying hard? I just gained it all stinking back.

This is probably too many words and you've stopped reading, but this is my thoughts. I want to be better at documenting the highs and the lows, as I think in the past I've shied away from blogging about the hard times.  You know, it just makes one feel too vulnerable.  Bleh. Who wants to be vulnerable? Anyway, I probably should've written this post earlier and maybe it would've helped me subjugate the slide a little faster. Also, then it would've been shorter.

Thoughts?


*It should be noted that I helped my own self to the wine and chocolate cake, knowing full-well that I had no points left for the day. It was in no way forced upon me by said friends.  
**I had responsibly added peanut butter back into my diet sometime earlier this year, with the strict rule to never eat it straight from the jar, ESPECIALLY WHILE SITTING ON THE COUCH WATCHING TV. Until Saturday, I had adhered to both of those rules.
***Last Monday, my first official weigh-in with WW showed that I had lost 6.5 pounds in one week. That large amount of weight can be typical with your first week back on track, I've observed.
****I don't ever oversleep. I wake up between 6:30 and 7 every day. But sometimes (pretty rarely) I refuse to get out of bed, where it is warm and comfortable and start my day. Today was one of those days.

Guest Blog From My Dad

My dad does not write a regular blog, but he does write a weekly inspirational email for all the managers in his company called the Monday Morning Memo.

Recently, his inspiration for the post was none other than me. His favorite middle daughter.  :) The post was so good, he sent it to an outside company he works with for employee recognition and rewards. They liked it enough to put it on their blog.

So that's where I'm sending you now with this link. To read the post my dad wrote about me (and encouraging your employees) on OC Tanner's website.  It's about how we celebrated Thanksgiving, and it was great.

You should check it out. I think you'll like it. But you can let me know in the comments section below.
www.octanner.com/blog/2012/12/the-power-of-cheer-inspiring-greatness/#.UL0ZeLRz_RU.facebook

Wondering who this guy is I'm posing with? Read the blog. He's Richard. The random stranger who hugged me for my inspirational support.

What's Broken?

After I revealed to you that I have gained back all 97 pounds that I have lost, you might be wondering...What happened, Jill?"*

It's a topic I sure have been giving a lot of thought to for the past several months as I've watched the scale climb back up.

The answer is, "hell, I don't know."

Sometimes I blame the conversation I had with my doctor in April 2011.

Sometimes I blame stress that came from when I changed jobs a few years back in 2010.

Sometimes I blame the constant striving to which I was a slave. Never satisfied with how much I had lost or how I had changed, but always trying to lose more to make it to the goal.

Sometimes I blame a bit of overconfidence - a "I can eat lots of this ice cream today and be better tomorrow" (without ever actually eating better tomorrow) philosophy that kind of crept up on me.

I'm not sure where this leaves me.  I don't want to work my ass** off again for another two  or three years to just throw it all away. Again. I do know that I work best at this weight loss thing when I'm tracking what I eat (thus the WW sign up). It's a drag, but it's important.  

I guess this is one of those blogs without an answer. All I can do is pray and be watchful of the signs that I'm slipping back into old habits. And maybe try to be more appreciative of the successes I earn along the way instead of always just watching for the next pound to fall of the scale.  And I should focus on the deliciousness of the healthy food I am eating (fruits and veggies!), instead of the food I'm not eating. And try not to restrict myself from certain foods completely, thus making me go coo-coo for them when I allow myself to taste them.  And remember that I am awesome, no matter what I weigh. Just more at risk for serious health things and harder to fit into airplane seats.  

Well, there you go, I guess the blog has a few answers after all. 

*You may not be wondering that at all. You may not think about me all that much when you are not talking directly to me or reading my blog or perusing my pictures and statuses on fb. I don't know. I don't know what you do.  It was just a blog intro, all right?

**Sorry for the foul language. I feel the situation warrants it.

Color Run 2012

While I will totally be filing the Color Run 2012 post under "Race Reports", I wouldn't really classify it as a race. Full disclosure: it was more of a party.

First, I was in no way expecting to run the whole thing.  I expected there to be too much of a crowd, plus my training kind of fell apart toward the end and I wasn't ready for 3.1 miles.  I was just there to have fun and I did.  Mainly because I had 15 of some of my most favorite people doing it with me:

I really love these people. Here we are still white.

We got up early, we carpooled in various configurations, we wore white.  We joined a huge throng of other all white people (dressed in white, that is) and moved from the parking lots to the gate of Lowe's Motor Speedway.

I wore a tutu and a white wig.
The wig was a genius move, plus:
my dream of running in a tutu= check!

Alyssa after the Yellow Station.

The start line felt like a dance party.  They were letting waves go every five minutes.  When it was our turn to go, we all took off running.  Those of our group who were serious about running (the Pavs, Jess, Daniel, Elvi) took off right away.  The rest of us attempted to stick together, but that proved hard with the crowds and the excitement, so we broke off into two groups.

At each color station (there were only 4), we stopped and walked as close as we could to the color throwers. We wanted to get as much color as possible. They tell you to shut your mouth in the Color Run tips, but I kept forgetting and would scream through the whole color station. After each color station we would take pictures of each other.

Here's the thing, though.  The color is just dust.  It gets sprinkled on you, but then you run off and it kind of flows away with the wind.  When we got to finish I was slightly disappointed in the amount of color I had absorbed.

But then at the finish line (which is a giant dance party, at least for someone like me who can't stand still when there's a good beat on), they had Color Throws every 10 minutes.  Each runner got a packet of color in their race bag and every 10 minutes they would have a coordinated throw where everyone would toss their colored powder in the air at the same time.  That was beautiful and we all ended up much more colored.  We all just hung out dancing and taking pictures and waiting for the next color throw for a super long time. It was great.

That's about it for the recap. Here are some pics for you to enjoy:

Most of our group during a color throw.

If you're wondering, the color washed right out of my clothes, except for the armpits of my shirt where I sweated. Apparently sweat makes the color stick. So now my color run shirt has blue armpits for all time. I haven't done anything with my wig or tutu, which both kind of look just gray now. I'm just not sure how to go about cleaning either of them.

Back to Square One

On Monday I weighed in after Thanksgiving and traveling and generally having no self-control, knowing there would not be a pleasant number on the scale.

I was correct.

In fact, the number on the scale was one pound higher than it was when I started the weight loss journey at the end of July in 2009. Yep, friends, I have gained back every pound of those 97 that I lost, plus one to grow on (poorly placed pun, sorry).

I had been thinking for awhile that I was going to have to start tracking my food again soon.  When I'm not tracking what I eat, I eat whatever I want. Unfortunately, what I want at any given time usually involves cookies, take out and ice cream.  And so I gain weight.

I knew this was coming, so when I saw that number on the scale on Monday,  I knew it was time to start tracking again. I chose Weight Watchers this time, and I signed up with the online system the same day.  I had to pay money to do this.  You may or may not remember that I was with sparkpeople.com through most of the last weight loss journey and it worked.  But I've tried to go back to it several times and have not been able to stick with it.

I decided to try Weight Watchers because I had to pay for it and because it's a new system for me to learn, both of which I hope will keep me interested. I HATED the first two days and felt hungry all the time.  Don't worry, the rest of the week went well.  I figured out what I can eat (unlimited amounts of fruits and veggies!) and what I can't eat much of (high carb and high fat stuff) and stopped feeling so sorry for myself.

So, while the week and this blog started off with kind of a downer, things are looking up.  I've been exercising and trying new healthy foods and drinking lots of water.  Things are good.  And kind of surprisingly, I found myself thinking yesterday that I'm feel more like myself than I have in months.  Despite the attitude I've had the last few months, I think that working hard for a big goal and not being afraid of a little sweat is more me than I ever realized before.

Weight Watchers has you set small goals, and when you achieve them, you set new goals. My first goal is 16 pounds, and I weigh in on Mondays.  I hope you'll join me on my (next) weight loss journey!

Things I can not believe I did (or did not do this week)
Only ate out twice.
NEVER ate breakfast out.
Made and consumed scrambled eggs

Things I learned this week:
Don't be too lazy to pull out a cutting board.
The tiny frying pan does have a purpose: cooking egg dishes!
Fruits and veggies are my friend

PS Check out this amazing omelet I made today. Spinach, feta and tomato!

Look at photo! It looks professional. I should
totally become a food blogger.