Wednesday I'll be going to the doctor* for the first time in two and a half years. I'm nervous.
I've only seen this doctor a handful of times, and every time she has told me that I am severely overweight and I need to change my eating habits and exercise more. Every time she said this it was true, but sometimes the truth hurts. I would leave thinking, "What does she think I'm stupid? I know I'm overweight, she doesn't have to be so mean about it."
I last went to her in January 2009. When I left I said to myself that I would not go back until I lost 100 pounds, which I never really expected to happen. I thought that I was just writing off doctor visits for the rest of my life.
While I haven't lost 100 pounds yet, I have made major changes in my life and have seen great results from that. I'd like to have a conversation with her about the plateau I've been on for the last few months, how I can shake things up to begin losing again, and what my ultimate weight loss goal should be (I suspect it should be more than 100 pounds, but first things first).
I hope that we can have an honest and open conversation that will help me succeed, but I'm still scared. I'm scared she will say that I am overweight and that I still have a long way to go (according to BMI charts, I should lose 140 pounds total, but that just doesn't seem right for my body type.) I don't know what I weighed when I last visited her, so the pounds lost may not be quite as impressive (although it will still be a significant amount.)
Anyway, I try to be honest with you blog readers, and that is what I'm thinking/worrying about this week. I'll let you know how it goes.
*No need for concern, it's just for a physical.
Haha. It's a little hard for me to concentrate. For one thing, I haven't been in the best place mentally for the past 3 days, I am tired, and the neighbors are blaring country oldies, currently "We've got long way to go, and a short time to get there..." Anyway, today I had this pretty amazing experience. I was watching the children this morning, and felt that I was dealing with their little situations exceptionally. I mean, I was pretty close to awesome, and I started thinking, "It's a shame no one is out here with us to see how awesome I am." [This does have a point beyond I am the most conceited person in the world.] Anyway, I started feeling a little sorry for myself not being able to share my awesomeness with anyone until I realized that God sees me, and that, while all my good works are rubbish, by consciously choosing to do what I knew was most right in my heart, I was pleasing Him. I was bringing glory to Him, as my audience of one. And you have too. You have brought Him so much glory in the choices you have made, and brought so much hope and joy to so many people (me included.) I am not particularly concerned about your doctor being too negative towards you, but no matter what, I hope and pray that you know in your heart that what you are doing honors God, even in your struggle, and there is much rejoicing in heaven because of you. (The song "Looking for love in all the wrong places" is playing now. I really do believe God lives in country radio.) LOVE!
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