From a lot of comments I've gotten from blog readers of late, I get the distinct impression that you guys think I'm good at the diet thing. After reading through some recent blog posts, I can totally see where you get that idea. I've been full of folksy wisdom, inspirational stories and motivational encouragements for you, but the blog is not telling the whole story.
Even though I've lost 90 pounds, right now I feel like I'm flailing around like I just started this journey. I'm struggling through each day, arguing with myself about what to eat. Do I eat the healthy things I've cooked and the fruits from the store or do I eat what I really want: Halloween candy and food from a restaurant?
I think part of the reason it is a struggle is because I am really happy with where I am right now, size-wise. I'm smaller than I've been since I was 14. I fit into a lot of clothes I never thought I would, and I feel good.
You might wonder why I still need to lose weight, if I feel good about myself. Part of it is meeting the goals that I've set, part of it is that I just know I still need to lose to be healthier. I am still overweight or obese. I've come a long way, but I still have a little ways to go. I'm not trying to be a stick figure model type, but I am trying to get to become my best self, physically.
Ten pounds should only take 5-6 weeks to lose if I'm doing it right, but I'm worried because the last 10 pounds took me five months to lose.
I think the key is balance, but that is easier to say than it is to find. I wish I could just restrict myself from eating anything that is bad for me. That would be simpler, more black and white. Unfortunately, that would eventually make me go crazy and blow up the whole town. The compromise is that I should just eat a little of the sweet stuff, and have a majority of my food be healthy fuel for my body. It's just hard to have a little and then make yourself stop. It's called self control and it is the fruit of the spirit that has always mystified me. I guess I need to start praying about that.
This rings very true for me, friend. I think that because of my sweet tooth, I have the hardest time foregoing them for real food.
ReplyDeleteI will say that something my doc told me was to try and limit my intake of artificial sweeteners. While they are fewer cals than real sugar, they are sweeter than actual sugar and can cause your sweet tooth to intensify because you always have a taste for a sweeter version of what you like. Does that make sense?
Best line of this whole blog: "Unfortunately, that would eventually make me go crazy and blow up the whole town."
ReplyDeleteSelf-control is the hardest thing ever. EVER.
I know exactly what you mean, April. In fact, I'm writing something about that later this week when I write about my love for Diet Pepsi...stay tuned.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Amie, though for some reason I prefer "self-discipline" to "self-control," as in
ReplyDeleteFor God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
The spirit and strength we need to accomplish the good, pleasing, and perfect will he has for us, are inside of us. We just need to listen and obey, which, haha, brings us back to the whole self-discipline/control issue :)
p.s. JIll-you are beautiful.
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