I'm sad to report that I have not been living healthy this week. For the past several days I have eaten a lot of junk and eaten out a lot. I'm not even sure what triggered this behavior. I haven't been stressed or depressed. I've actually been really happy, and super looking forward to Thanksgiving and time with my family.
The week before I had to go to a lot of different events for work. Before each one I was anticipating being able to eat "good" food, especially desserts. I don't keep desserts in my house any more, because I tend to abuse the privilege. Anyway, at each event I was eagerly anticipating the food. This is a big change from last year at this time. Then I would've been worrying about each event and developing a plan for how I could avoid the sweets and stick to my eating plans. But this time I was looking forward to them specifically for the food, but at each event when I arrived, there either wasn't food at all, it was gone before I got to it or it just didn't look like it was worth it. I was continually frustrated in the free, good food department.
I'm wondering if this contributed to my blowout this week. Once I gave in and started eating poorly, it was hard to right myself. All I could think was, "the weekend is coming, and it's impossible to eat well over the weekend. Then after that I'll be travelling and Thanksgivinging." It seemed hopeless to try to eat well until I can get back to a normal routine. That's another attitude that is different from last year at this time. It makes me sad, because I feel like I will never make it to 100 pounds lost. I seem to be sabotaging myself a lot more regularly.
I don't know where to leave this post except to tell you that I've abandoned the attitude that I had the past few days that I "deserve" these foods and that I should be able to eat whatever I want. I'm trying to reboot my healthy living self, which is hard after 3-4 days of letting myself eat whatever I want. We'll see.
Now to keep this from being a completely somber post, here's a link to a song that will provide you with an instant two minute dance party. Feel free to get up and bust a move.
Maybe you can think of it as a bad mid-semester/first nine weeks report card. Now that you're armed with the info, you can work to make a change, though it be difficult.
ReplyDeleteThis time of year is way hard. I've eaten out more in the last week than I did in the last three months. Not cool, not cool.
I know you can make good choices; you're strong and you're empowered by your friends and by the Spirit!
Jill, being hard on yourself sometimes is a good thing because you are the only person who can be 100%, completely honest with yourself.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, it's interesting to note that you no longer "dread" being around enticing or unhealthy foods. I think that is a step in the right direction. Yes, it's good to avoid the bad foods, but you also shouldn't be stressed out about being around it. I think it shows progress that your anxiety level doesn't jump up when this happens. And, as my dietician said, eat what you want on T-giving (within reason) and bookend it with harder-than-normal exercise sessions.