Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Top 5 Tuesday

My friend, April, and my pastor Talbot both do occasional posts on Tuesdays called Top 5 Tuesday.

I've never done one before, but for as many years as I can remember (which is not nearly as many as it may sound, I have a terrible memory), my cousin Sarah and I have exchanged a list of our Top 5 favorite movies from the previous year, once the new year dawns.

We have different tastes in movies, so we very rarely overlap on our top fives.

Anyway, we did this again last week, so I thought I'd share with you my Top 5 Movies of 2012:

First, Honorable Mentions that didn't make the cut, include: 
Silver Linings Playbook, Looper, The Lucky One


5) Hunger Games
4) Lincoln
3) Perks of Being a Wallflower
2) Les Miserables
1) Pitch Perfect

Pitch Perfect is definitely the BEST movie of the year. If you haven't seen it yet, you should rent it now!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Shake it Out

Update from yesterday - good news! I made several meals last night, and I got up early to walk for an hour before work!

Now about Shake it Out. My little sister turned me on to this song by Florence Henderson and the Machine. She told me about it over Christmas, but I didn't really have a chance to listen to it until I was making my meals yesterday afternoon.

Of course, it was exactly what I needed to hear then, after writing that slight downer of a post yesterday. Don't you just love when that happens?

I love the way the music builds, but I  especially love the line "It's hard to dance, with the devil on your back." I get that.



"Shake It Out"
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Try to Try Again.

When I posted my 2013 goals the other day, there was a suspicious lack of food, fitness, health or weight-related goals. Especially, as I write a blog that is (mostly) about my journey to improve all of these things.

Honestly, 99% of the reason why there weren't any such goals is because I'm afraid of failing.  Again. *

I have wanted to eat healthier and return to exercise, but my arms are full, carrying my fear. It stalks me. I can't put it down. It's my near constant companion, and it talks to me. Sometimes it whispers and sometimes it screams.  It mostly says things like this:

Why try again, just to fail?  
It's easier not to try.
You'll start again tomorrow.
You're too out of shape to start over, so you might as well skip the gym.
What does it matter?

And other things, but mostly along this same line of thinking. And so, when I think about trying to lose weight or eat vegetables or go to the gym, I mostly get sad and decide not to do anything. Which just perpetuates the sadness**

But luckily a number of things have been coming together lately, building up my resolve to try again.

1) I'm going to Disney World in two weeks with my nieces and nephew.*** I've suddenly realized that because I haven't been to the gym in weeks, I've lost any semblance of fitness I once had.  Yesterday I went for a leisurely walk with friends when I realized, if I don't start getting some regular walks in I'm not going to survive at Disney World with an 8-year-old, a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old.  That thought made me sad, until I realized I have the power to affect the change.  I have two weeks to train up and get back into power walking shape.

2) I got this picture for Christmas (the one on the left in the picture).  It's been really making me think about the power of our choices. I may not be able to run a marathon or even a 5k, right now, but I have the power to choose to go for a swim today and a walk tomorrow and start somewhere.

3) A friend from high school, Jennifer, sent me a message telling me about a blog she follows called the Happy Herbivore.  Part of what the blogger does is a meal-planning service, where she will send you a package that includes a seven-day meal plan, a grocery list and recipes for all of the meals throughout the week.  I checked into it, downloaded it for this week, made my grocery store run and I'm about to go cook up some of the meals so I'll be ready for the week.  I am not a herbivore by nature, but I don't mind giving it a try.  The blogger mentioned somewhere that "you'd be surprised by how filling vegetables can be." I'm hoping that's the case.

4) People that I did not know ever read my blog have been telling me that they've been enjoying it and that I've been inspiring them.  It surprises me every time it happens, but it makes me want to keep trying.  Like I just can't let these people down.

5) When I started journaling the other week, I ran across this old entry from 2006 (pictured at right). It's funny-strange (as opposed to funny ha-ha) that I have to keep re-learning this lesson over and over again.

6) A new reader to Lost and Not Found commented on a post from February of 2011 that I wrote about the importance of loving yourself first.  I had forgotten I had written it.  But lately, despite the fear stalking me, I have been thankful and glad that I am who I am. Maybe I'll write a post soon about all the things about me that I think are pretty great****. Stay tuned.

So,  a very long brain-dumping blog for you this evening.  One that begins a bit bleakly, but ends with hope and a promise.  A promise to try to try again.

*It's not like the weight I lost in 2009-2011 and then subsequently gained back and 2012 is the only time this has happened.  I've been fighting against my weight (sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing) for many years.
**You might think, "I just saw Jill last week, and she didn't seem sad. She seemed like her usual peppy self. What is she talking about?" And to that I'd say that I have have many wonderful things going on in my life lately, including friends, family, trip planning and one very funny music video, and I appreciate them all.  However, I just can't seem to shake this one dark cloud, which I can't seem to shake.
***My first reaction to this news was to say, "I'm going to Disney World in two weeks, where I'm sure to get off track, what's the point in starting now?" In the end I've mustered up enough nerve to try again.
****While it may not be considered very humble to list all of the great things about yourself, sometimes, the necessary boost to your self esteem warrants it.

Friday, January 4, 2013

2013 Goals

I realize today is January 4, and that puts me behind in the blogsophere in posting about my New Years Resolutions or Goals.*  I've had the goals listed below in mind for a few weeks, but was hesitant to post them as I was contemplating adding additional fitness, food or weight-loss related goals.

In the end, I've decided not to add anything like that, despite the fact that those are the areas of my life where I need to make significant improvements.  I chose not to add them, partially because I couldn't come up with a healthy, reasonable goal (always in the back of my mind is my life goal to lose 100 pounds, but that's not realistic in one year's time), and partially because I am afraid of failing.**

So, while weight loss is always on mind, here are the personal goals I'd like to tackle this year.

  • Read the bible all the way through.
    • No explanation necessary.
  • Write in a personal journal twice a week.
    • While blogging has its merits, there are certain thoughts that you (and by you I mean I) should maybe not share with the whole world, which includes friends, strangers, co-workers and family. I think I could benefit from getting some of these thoughts out of my head and into a concrete place where I can return and review them.  I also have used journals as a form of prayer in the past; writing the prayers help to focus my thoughts and keep me from wandering (or when I do wander, helping me return to where I started eventually)
  • Write a snail mail letter once a month.
    • I still believe in the power of snail mail.  A card or a note received via the United States Postal Service is a powerful statement to your friends and family saying you love them enough to find a card, take the time to write and then go out and buy a stamp.  I do have more than 12 friends and family members, so I wish I were saying I'd do this once a week, but I just sort of know it won't happen that way. I think once a month is a good place to start.***
  • Read five biographies.
    • At first I thought I would not set any reading related goals. Obviously, I can read, and I don't feel like I need to challenge myself to read more this year. But after watching Lincoln in theatres (it's great; go see it!),  I was inspired to learn more about the man in the stovepipe**** hat. And that got me thinking, that biographies are a good way to absorb history and expand my reading repertoire. Why five? Well, let's just say I'm a little wary of biographies to begin with, so I don't want to go crazy.  Have you read a really compelling biography? Let me know and I'll add it to my list. (please know that when I say biography I mean biography of a person whom I've heard of, perhaps from history or entertainment or a royal family. I don't mean just a random joe-schmo. No offense to the joe-schmos, just not what I'm feeling)
  • Comment consistently on friend's blogs.
    • I have a number of friends with blogs or vlogs that I read regularly (and a few strangers, too).  I want to be better about commenting consistently on their blogs, because I know how much I LOVE comments on my blog****** and think that I can do this simple act regularly to send a little love their way. I kind of already started this one.
  • Burn a candle more often.
    • They're nice. They provide a cozy light and usually a delicious smell.  I have candles. I just never remember to light them. Should be simple.
  • Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando.
    • This year I'm going to both Disney World and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. However, I've already visited and loved Disney World, so I don't feel the need to set it as a "goal" to attain. I have not been to Harry Potter World, so therefore the goal.

In addition to these, I always have the aim to love more, pray more, give more and, therefore, hold material possessions more loosely.  But those aren't the most tangible of goals, just overarching life improvements, I guess.

What about you? Care to share your 2013 stabs at personal improvement?

*I prefer to refer to them as goals. It makes me craft them in a more concrete manner and makes them seem more real to me.

**I hope to be able to blog more about this soon. Haven't been able to form enough concrete words about it yet. 

***I wrote my January snail mail letter and first journal entry last night and my hand is still cramping.  It is so rare that I write anything more than my signature or maybe a short sentence scrawled on some paperwork at work that my hand is out of shape. Thankfully, my handwriting has always been so bad that the lack of practice did not affect the usual standard of readability for which I strive.

****Full confession, I typed stovetop hat, then thought "That doesn't sound right" and had to google "What kind of hat does Abe Lincoln wear?*****" to find that it is actually called a stovepipe hat.  Seriously, WHAT did we do before the internet?  Just remember everything?  Also, I'm ashamed that I, and all my kin, hail from Illinois (AKA the Land of Lincoln) and couldn't remember. If any of them reads this blog and and this accompanying footnote, they may never forgive me.

*****As I typed "what kind of hat does..." Google supplied (I really, really, really love seeing Google try to guess what I'm searching for) the following 2nd halves of my question:
 "what kind of hat does mary poppins wear"
 "what kind of hat does mario wear"
 "what kind of hat does indiana jones wear"
 "what kind of hat does sherlock holmes wear"
 "what kind of hat does raylan givens wear" Then I didn't know who Raylan Givens was, so I had to google him. Apparently, he's a character on a tv show called Justified. He wears a Stetson.

******New Year's Goal or shameless ploy? you be the judge

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Thankful Thursdays!

I'm so thankful that I've remembered to be thankful two Thursdays in a row! Let's jump on this thankfulness train before it departs the station!

Today, I am mega thankful for the love we've been getting for our new video. Remember when we did the Call Me Maybe video back in July?  We've been wanting to do a follow-up since then, but had a hard time deciding on the perfect jam. Solution? We did a mix featuring all of the best and most popular jams of 2012. We just released it yesterday and would love to break 1000 views, so watch, re-watch and forward to all of your friends and family members!




So if I'm thankful for the video, I'm also thankful for my co-stars Luis and Cara!  We laughed so hard during the filming of this video.  And their dance moves and ability to emote to a camera are unparalleled!

Cara turned 19 on January 1, so of course
I made her a cardboard cutout of herself. Cardboard version
is on the right.
Luis in lights. I am thankful that we came up with
the idea to tie ourselves up with Christmas
lights for the "Lights" portion of our video.
I've watched that section over and over and over.
















































I'm thankful for the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013.  I really, really love reflecting on goals, pop culture, books, television, movies and everything else from the previous year and dreaming about the future! (PS I realize there is some kind of law that if you blog you will post your goals/resolutions for the new year during the first week of January, and I'm working on mine. I hope to share soon)


I'm thankful that my BFF, Amie, has started her own fascinating blog! Now I get leave her lots of comments to start paying her back for the millions of great comments she's left on my blog over the years!
Her inaugural post.


I'm really thankful for my blog. I like being able to remember things better because I've blogged about them. I like being able to go back and look at my goals in a tangible place.  I really, really like getting comments about what I've written, both on the blog and in person.

I'm also really thankful for the internet in general.

I'm really, really thankful for my library.  Of the 85 books I read this year, I think only 15 were not from the library. (of those 15, only five were purchased by me, the others were loaned to me)  I just don't understand people who don't go to the library (unless you have a fear of germs or something, which I both get and don't get at the same time). It's free!  And so easy! If you can work your library's website, you can request books online, walk in and they have them all waiting for you at the checkout counter! It doesn't get any easier!

I'm thankful that Downton Abbey is coming back on PBS this Sunday.  I spent New Year's Day in a Downton Abbey coma, rewatching the whole series.  It's so dramatic and refined and English. I love it. And the costumes. And the Maggie Smith quips.  And Matthew Crawley.  Want to watch the season 1 and 2 recap so you're ready for season 3 on Sunday? You can find it on the PBS website here.
They are so intense.


I'm also thankful for blankets and bed.  It just occurred to me that I am really tired.

What are you thankful for on this wonderful Thursday?  Please share!

Goodnight all!

Monday, December 31, 2012

Books of 2012


It's the last day of the year, which means I can post my annual book list. I read 85 books this year. Many were young adult, which can be a bit slimmer, but I'm proud to say there were a few hefty books on the list, including Les Miserables, Stephen King's 11/22/63, Gone with the Wind, etc.

I've got a list of recommendations at the end, so make sure you scroll all the way through (I know it's a long list!).

I'm always on the hunt for new books. Do you have any favorite books from this year that you can recommend to me? 
  1. Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan
  2. Caldera by Matt Cousineau
  3. Triathlons for Women by Sally Edwards
  4. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith
  5. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach
  6. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
  7. Vienna Prelude by Bodie Thoene
  8. Prague Counterpoint by Bodie Thoene
  9. Munich Signature by Bodie Thoene
  10. The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
  11. Jerusalem Interlude by Bodie Thoene
  12. Danzig Passage by Bodie Thoene
  13. Washington Square by Henry James
  14. The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
  15. Warsaw Requiem by Bodie Thoene
  16. I’ve Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
  17. Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
  18. The Always War by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  19. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
  20. Turnabout by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  21. Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  22. Among the Impostors by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  23. Among the Betrayed by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  24. Among the Barons by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  25. Among the Brave by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  26. Among the Enemy by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  27. Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins*
  28. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins*
  29. MockingJay by Suzanne Collins*
  30. Among the Free by Margaret Peterson Haddix
  31. Crossed by Ally Conde
  32. Esperanza Rising by Pam Munoz Ryan
  33. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling
  34. 11/22/63 by Stephen King
  35. Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay
  36. The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell
  37. A Girl Named ZIppy by Haven Kimmel
  38. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
  39. Homecoming by Cynthia Voight
  40. I Remember Nothing by Nora Ephron
  41. Children of God by Mary Doria Russell
  42. I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron
  43. Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter
  44. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald*
  45. Bossypants by Tina Fey*
  46. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
  47. I’m Not Myself These Days by Josh Kilmer-Purcel
  48. Where Am I Wearing?: A Global Tour to the Countries, Factories and People that Make Our Clothes by Kelsey Timmerman
  49. Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo
  50. Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
  51. The Next Best Thing by Jennifer Weiner
  52. Then Came You by Jennifer Weiner
  53. Size 12 and Ready to Rock by Meg Cabot
  54. Gone GIrl by Gillian Flynn
  55. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
  56. Dark Places by GIllian Flynn
  57. Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley
  58. An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison
  59. Uglies by Scott Westerfield
  60. Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan
  61. Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
  62. Pretties by Rick Riordan
  63. Scarlet by A.C. Gaughen
  64. Ender’s Game by Scott Orson Card
  65. Tell the Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
  66. Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
  67. The List by Siobhan Vivian
  68. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
  69. The Red House by Mark Haddon
  70. The Giver by Lois Lowry
  71. Flirting with Monasticism: Finding God on Ancient Paths by Karen Sloan
  72. The Magician’s Elephant by Kate DiCamillo
  73. Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
  74. Insurgent by Veronica Roth
  75. The Four Agreements
  76. The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
  77. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
  78. Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry
  79. The Messenger by Lois Lowry
  80. Son by Lois Lowry
  81. Dicey’s Song by Lois Lowry
  82. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
  83. The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen by Syrie James
  84. Different Seasons by Stephen King
  85. Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

*Denotes a re-read

Top Recommendations on the Year: (in this order)
Tell the Wolves I’m Home
The Fault in Our Stars
Silver Linings Playbook
11/22/63
The Giver Series by Lois Lowry
Dicey’s Song
The Great Divorce
The Magician’s Elephant (great for kids)
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

If you don’t mind slightly disturbing crime dramas, all three of Gillian Flynn’s books (Gone Girl, Dark Places, Sharp Objects) are page turners. Just not recommended for everyone because of the content.


Friday, December 28, 2012

2012 Goals in Review

Last year I spelled out my 2012 goals for you in this blog post. I was a little scared to go check it out today to see how I did, because I knew I had a lot of racing goals and that area of my life kind of went kerplunk this year.  Also, there's the whole "gaining back all of the weight i had lost" deal.  

Turns out it's not too bad. Here is the excerpt from that post:

Racing Goals
  • Complete two sprint triathlons this year and perhaps an Olympic distance Tri. (NOPE)
  • Run a person record in the 5k (NOPE)
  • Run at least one 10k and decide about doing a half at some time in my lifetime (NOPE and NOPE)


Personal Goals
  • Try Airobics (CHECK!)
  • Paint at least one wall in my house (CHECK!)
  • Continue blogging (MOSTLY CHECKED!)
  • Get my savings account back to where it should be (CHECKED, but then unchecked when I bought my new computer, working on this again)
  • Read at least 60 books (CHECK!)

So this tells us that I completely and utterly failed at racing in 2012, but that I'm pretty well succeeding as a person. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

I'm still thinking about what my goals for 2013 will be, hopefully I'll post them next week as we ring in the New Year.*


*Why is New Year a universally acknowledge proper noun?  Looks to me like two un-proper nouns just jammed together.  Maybe we should all revolt against capitalizing it.