Posing

Here's how it all began.
I work at a university. An email went out to all faculty and staff asking for volunteers to sit for portrait painting for an introductory painting class. It was really quite a well-written email.  It enticed you with a chance to sit for 20 minutes, while at the same time experiencing a side of the university you might not know much about it. Plus, it mentioned that we could keep one of the portraits as payment for our time.

I got it first thing in the morning. I thought about it for a couple of hours before it dawned on me that this is one of those things that is awesome about my job. Most people don't get to have their portraits painted for free! So I emailed back and requested a slot.  After a slight emotional roller-coaster ride of being told the slots were full, then being told that I could come at a different time and then being told they were full again before being told I could actually come, I was signed up.

On Wednesday, the day of the portrait, I was pretty giddy. I tried on three different outfits when I was getting ready.  Then I took two different outfits to work to ask opinions of my co-workers.  I finally settled on one.

Now we come to the portrait sitting.
There were five of us getting our portraits painted at the same time.  We sat in the middle of a circle and the class of painters were ringed around us with their easels, paints and brushes.  They got  to choose who they wanted to paint.  They only had 20 minutes to capture the essence of their subjects.

We were told to pick a pose that we could hold for 20 minutes.  I immediately started grinning. The push-my-cheeks-upward kind of full face grin.  My painter said, "You may not want to smile. It's hard to hold for 20 minutes."  To which I responded, "Okay, I'll go with a slight, sly smile then." She laughed and said she'd try to capture that.

They advised us to pick a spot on the wall opposite that we could look at the entire time.  That way we'd hold our heads the same way the whole time.  This was my spot:

That's right, I got to stare through a transparent heart into a blue sky and green trees.  It was great. And bright.  I got to sit there for twenty minutes, not moving a muscle and looking through that transparent heart thinking deep thoughts about love and the nature of having a transparent heart.  I know I had a bunch of personal revelations along those lines, but unfortunately I have already forgotten them all. Side note: the word next to the transparent heart says "HATE," but fortunately I could not read that from my seat.  I actually thought it said "MAKE," ask in "Make Love." But mostly, I just didn't think much about it because it was a small millimeter (as opposed to large millimeter) off of my chosen mark.

The 20 minutes flew by. I couldn't see what anyone was doing, except for my painter, who i could see out of the corner of my eye.  Despite her advice not to smile, it was hard not to smile the whole time because I was having such a good time staring into my blue sky transparent heart and watching her peek around her easel at me.

The teacher walked around continuously giving pointers to the painters.  She didn't have to give my painter any advice almost the entire time, which, weirdly, made me proud. Obviously, that meant I had the best painter.  Toward the end she recommended that my painter buy new brushes, which obviously worried me. (Internal monologue was something like this "My painter is using old brushes? So much so that the teacher is concerned about it?  What does that mean for my painting? Will it be ruined by old brushes??")

At the end we got to get up and walk around and look at all of the portraits. They are going to have an exhibit of all of the portraits (factoring in all the time slots, they had more than 30 different subjects) in the library in April.  After the exhibit, we get to keep our portrait.  I'm going to frame mine.

The result.
It's different than I thought it would be.  Turns out I needn't have worried about what to wear.  It's more abstract than I was maybe expecting, but it's super cool.  She captured my cheeks really well. I also like my eyes and red lips (even though my lips are never red).  The only thing I'm slightly underwhelmed with is my hair.  Where are my bouncy curls?

Continue after the break to see my digital picture of the finished portrait.

Thankful Thursdays

Okay, okay. I realize I have missed a few Thankful Thursdays lately.  It's not that I'm not being thankful, but life has been a little busy and Thursdays are generally extra busy.

But tonight, no more delays. I'm declaring my thankfulness publicaly, once again!

Today, I am thankful:

That I am laying flat on my roommate's couch right now.

I'd show you a picture, but sometimes I think its better for you to use your imaginations.  Just picture me. Except horizontal. And on a yellow couch.  And it's super comfy. There you go.  Way to imagine!

This may only be a four-day work week for me, but something about taking vacation days every month really makes your work life a little crazy.  Thus, my appreciation of the couch in my non-work life.

For a completely awesome trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

This past weekend, my friends and I went to see Hogwarts and Hogsmeade and meet some wizards and other cool stuff at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. As we are some of the biggest HP nerds around, it was a BIG deal for us.  Plus, we got to stay at our friend Erin's awesome in-laws' guest house and visit Disney. Life goal of visiting the WW of HP, achieved!

For Butterbeer

Butterbeer, for you non-HP nerds out there, is the drink of choice for Harry and his friends at the Three Broomsticks pub in Hogsmeade, and it was definitely one of the highlights of the trip.  I've been wanting to try it for ages and ages.  Let me tell you, that first sip I took was so tasty, it literally* made me close my eyes, smack my lips and say "Aaahhh."  It tastes like cream soda and butterscotch. Also, it is non-alcoholic, which I mention because I get a lot of questions about it.  I find those questions strange.  I mean, Harry starts drinking it in his third year at Hogwarts, people.

That my BFF Amie got chosen at Ollivander's.

Ollivander's, for the non-HP nerds, is where wizards go to purchase wands.  At WW of HP, they bring about 20 people into the wand shop at a time and only one is chosen to actually shop for a wand.  And everyone knows that the wand chooses the wizard.  As we were a group of four adults, none of us really had hopes of being chosen.  But magic was in the air, and Amie, the biggest HP nerd of us all, was selected by Ollivander to test several different wands before one worked for her. I can not even begin to capture her joy with words. It was off the charts.

That I got my portrait painted yesterday.

I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that this was happening.  It was such fun, and I really love how mine turned out. I'm planning to write a whole blog about the experience soon.  There's going to be an exhibit at school in April with all of the portraits that were painted of faculty and staff on display.  So, I'm basically going to be famous.

That my cold is finally starting to subside.

Am I the only one who, when I feel a cold start to come on, know I will be hacking and sneezing for weeks?  I'm approaching my third week of sickness and I'm finally starting to feel better.

That my I took my car to get her oil changed today and they didn't want me to do super expensive things like buy new tires or replace "brake shoes" or something equally ridiculous.
Enough said.

For slightly cheesy rhyming poems that make people smile.
I especially like writing these myself.

For Good Shepard Church's choir.

We sing this Sunday and, friends, it is going to be great.  Two of my favorite songs, "Salvation is Here" and "Cornerstone" are on the playlist.  

For Downton Abbey

I don't care how much they crank up the drama on that show. In my mind they can do no wrong.  Of course, what I am not thankful for is the fact that the season just ended and we'll have to wait who-knows-how-long for season 4.

For the Mindy Project

While we're on the subject of TV, can I give a little love to the Mindy Project?  I can not explain it well in words, but during the 23 minutes that show is on, I am always smiling with a kind of ridiculous ear-to-ear grin.  I want to be Mindy Lahiri when I grow up.  

For my friends who ask me do trendy-yet-ridiculous things like create a Harlem Shake video.

Happy Thankful Thursday! What's floating your thankful boat this week?



*When I say literally, I mean literally. That is my promise to you.

Talk About Writer's Block

I know I've been posting fairly infrequently lately, and I really hate that.  I read a number of blogs myself (some of strangers and some of friends) and know that feeling, kind of that I've been left out in the cold feeling, when one of them fails to post on a regular posting today.  I also know this is not the first time I've gone a week without posting and I have a new excuse each time.  This time my excuse: writer's block.

I actually think about my blog and what I'll write about (or vlllooogggaaa about) quite a bit.  And lately, while I've had little snatches or snippets of thoughts about what to write about, they haven't been things I could develop into full blown blogs (or vllloooogggaaasss). So I've been blaming writer's block in my head.*

But no more! I decided to just start typing and see what comes out.  Probably a bunch of good-for-nothing snippets. Let's see!

1. I appreciate the love for the 6:20 in the Morning vlllooogggaaa. That is a rough time of day, so I'm glad you could appreciate me even at that pre-dawn hour. I think that means you love me. You really love me!

2. I'm not reading as much lately. Not sure why. And those 5 biographies I put on my yearly goals list? Killing me.  I'm kicking myself for that foolhardy goal.  Why don't I know about myself that all I ever want to do is read fiction, and preferably the YA variety?

3. I think I've finally gotten over my obsession with the Lizzie Bennett Diaries. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still watch every new video she makes, but I don't think about it other then when I'm watching each new video when it comes out. And I don't try to talk about it to random people** most of the time. That's progress.

4. I was going to write a V-Day blog about how much better it is to be single. Singleness does not often get the credit it deserves for being wonderful.  But then I thought that it would probably come off as pretty smug and possibly offensive to those who are married. Also, not having had the experience of being married, probably means I can't emphatically say that being single is better.  You know, without having done the research personally, I mean. So I've decided against that. I may have already said too much.

5. I've been sick and I hate being sick. 

6. Next week I'm going to pose for a portrait. That will be painted. Of me.  How awesome is this??? I will update you guys more on this next week after it happens. I think it could be a whole blog post. I keep thinking of when Kramer was painted on Seinfeld ("He is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can't look away.") 

"The Kramer"

7. I just found out they're having a polar bear swim in my town in a week and a half.  I've ALWAYS*** wanted to do a polar bear swim.  Oh, I hope this works out.

It looks like a few snippets added together create one whole blog post. Hooray!

*I have a LOT of conversations with myself both in my head and out loud. This is normal, right?
**Random people being anyone who stands still long enough.
***Always being hyperbole for the last couple of years.

6:20 in the morning...

I am not a morning person...

Today, I am irritated.

Warning: if you are a naturally cheery person or just in an exceptionally good mood, you might not want to read the following post.  You've been warned.

Today, I am irritated.

It's one of "those" days, even if it didn't start out that way.  In fact, most of the day was good. Busy, but good.  But somehow in the late afternoon, everything started piling up on me, making me see the world as half empty instead of half full.  It hasn't abated in the hours since, so instead of writing a blog about the delicious new item I discovered recently at my Bi-Lo, as I had planned, I'm going to rant a bit. *

I'm irritated by my eyeballs. They are so dry, I would like to rip them out of my frontal lobe right now.
I'm irritated (literally and figuratively) by contacts who make my eyeballs so dry that I would like to rip my eyeballs out of my frontal lobe right now.
I'm irritated by my hair and how it just hangs on my neck.**
I'm irritated by any and all shoes.
I'm irritated by my chapped lips.
I'm irritated by my increasingly sore throat.
I'm irritated at the way the weather can be so biting that it makes your skin feel completely raw one day and then the next day it can be 60 degrees. I'm also irritated that apparently it was 60 degrees today, but I wouldn't know because I was inside all day.
I'm irritated that I caught up on all of the Lizzie Bennett Diary Vlogs and now I have to wait patiently for new ones to come out twice a week.
I'm irritated that my dog was barking at me as I was trying to unlock the door in the dark with my hands and arms all full. ***
I'm irritated that I'm supposed to eat five different fruits and vegetables today as part of our work challenge, and I'm two short today, so I need to go make a snack of salad after I finish this blog.  Gross.
I'm irritated by salespeople.****
I'm irritated that I'm so irritated that I can't come up with other words for my irritation.

About the only thing not irritating me tonight is my shower.  It is a wonderful place. Sometimes I think I could stand in a shower for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll get a portable one to wear out and about like Ralph Macchio had in the Karate Kid. Except it would not be just for show. It would need to flow warm, decent-pressure water.

I realize these irritations are minor and the fact that this is all I have to complain about means I have a wonderful life. I think I just need to lay flat for awhile.

Do you have anything irritating you that you would care to rant about? Feel free to lay it on me in the comments below. I can take it.

*I figure I write plenty of posts talking about everything I love or all the things going great. You can handle one post full of irritation.
**Got my hair cut tonight, so hopefully, this will not be an issue tomorrow.
***I understand she is inside and alone all the time and she's just anxious for me to hurry up and get inside and greet her.  
****I suppose not all. Just the ones that drop by without appointments.

My Week in Two Minutes!

Here's my next edition of my video VLOG!


Just know that in my head I pictured a count down timer clock in the corner of this video, so we could all watch and see if I make it within my self-imposed two minute time limit. Turns out there is no automatic countdown clock feature in imovie and it would've been way time consuming for me to construct my own.  So, I guess you'll just need to watch the timer embedded by YouTube to see if I make it!

After you have reviewed the video, check out some clarifying thoughts by clicking the "Read More" link below.  I had to hide them from you so you wouldn't read them before watching the video!

Today's Thoughts

I returned from Disney depressed.  Not because I had left behind the happiest place on earth or my adorable nieces or nephews and not because I had to return to real life: laundry, dishes, cooking, work.  No, I was depressed because it meant a return to fighting my weight. I didn't think about calories or exercise or food choices at all while I was gone.  I ate whatever I wanted, but also walked a million miles, and came back not having gained a single pound.

I keep thinking about this throw-away line from that last vlog I did.  Something about "I am trying, sort of, not really, and I will try again and that is maybe the story of my life."* Do I really want trying, failing and trying again to be the story of my life?  Like that's all you will talk about when I die? "Oh Jill, she was nice, she had great hair and she tried really hard.  Never succeeded, but bless her heart she kept trying." My instant reaction that is "NO!" I do not want trying and failing and trying to lose weight to be the story of my life.  But then I try to think about what I do want the story of my life to be.**  I'd want to be remembered as someone who laughed a lot and made others laugh a lot.  I'd also want to be thought of as a loving, caring person. I don't want to be defined by my stupid inability to eat like a normal human being.

I've also been thinking about my motivation.  I think motivations I've used in the past are not going to be good enough this time.  Rewards like jumping out of an airplane or a trip to Europe just aren't going to cut it.  I think I really need to find my motivation in my health and my future.  I do not want to be an old person who has heart problems and mysterious aches and pains and diabetes because of my weight.  I've never been a person who spends much times in doctor's offices, never been under anesthesia (besides whatever they use to take out your wisdom teeth, which I think is something different from what they use to cut out a significant part of you?), and I don't really ever want to become that.  But it's so hard to grasp hold of the future as a motivation tool. I'm not really sure why, I guess it's just too easy to live in denial about, until I do develop serious health problems and its too late.

Those are the thoughts I am thinking today.  I'm not sure they've led me to conclusions that will take me forward along the path to general healthiness, but they are percolating.

BTW, I was organizing pictures this weekend and found this from when I had lost 97 pounds.  I can't remember her very well, but it looks like a different person.

*How pretentious is it to quote yourself in your own blog? On a scale of 1 to 10?
**I think the appropriate Sunday School answer is, as always, Jesus.