So losing this much weight means I get to have a lot of awkward conversations with everyone from co-workers to neighbors to fellow church members. They usually start in one of two ways:
1) "You have lost weight." (Yes, I have, thank you for noticing)
or
2) "You look great." (What did I look like before?)
Both of these are usually said very emphatically and slowly, with emphasis given to each word. I'm often not sure what else to say and it's usually at least slightly awkward, but it does mean a lot and makes me feel good.
It also means I get to have a lot of conversations about how I've "done it." I start with the short answer "working out and trying to watch what I eat." For some, this is all you want to know. You're just checking to make sure I'm not doing some crazy diet. But if you seem interested, I give you more of the gritty details about calorie counting and how I use sparkpeople, how I make my meals in advance and plan my fruits and vegetables, how I work out a lot and I've started running.
At this point, I get really excited, because I want so much to help you get to where I am. I want to tell you everything I've learned over the last year. I want to see you do everything that I've done and then succeed. But I've come to realize two things.
1)What works for me may not be the best solution for you. These things work for me because I figured out what I was doing wrong (Overeating, stopping to get fast food for dinner on the way home from work, etc.) and I figured out a ways to curb the problems that fit within my lifestyle. (I don't have to cook for a family, and I'm able to work out on my lunch hour because I work about 20 feet from an amazing gym.) So even though I stand by my six days-a-week workouts and my Sunday afternoon grocery shopping and meal prep time, it may not be the solution your problem. Heck, you may not even have the same problems.
2)People have to chose to change. You may say to me that you want to lose weight and ask for all of the advice in the world, which I will happily share, but it all comes down to you, how you decide to live your life and the choices you make on a daily basis. As I read somewhere, it's hard to be overweight and it's hard to lose weight. You just have to choose your hard.
So, I guess what I've learned is that instead of pushing my advice on you, I should
try to help you figure out what is keeping you from reaching your goals and how then how you can fix it. Then it is up to you to decide to do it.
Just some observations from the journey.
I love your parenthetical aside to the second remark. I always think the same thing when people make that comment!
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right - you have to choose your hard. This is true for a lot of things. :)
Good observations, friend.
"it's hard to be overweight and it's hard to lose weight. You just have to choose your hard"
ReplyDeleteSo true, friend! I am loving your blog.
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ReplyDeleteI have had experience answering the awkward question--as you well know, though of a different sort from yours. I had to come up with a rote answer to recite and make it sound real. Answering that question a billion times got hard.
ReplyDeleteBut then I realized, if people did NOT ask the question, they were in some way being rude. They were ignoring a big part of my life if they didn't ask what became an awkward question.
So, I began to see those questions as ways people demonstrated they cared for me. And it sounds like you recognize that. They are concerned/glad/excited for you and have no articulate way to express that.
But, you have a gracious response to them and you are so right--you just have to choose your hard.
Nice post!