Me,You? You, Me?

I don't know if you know this, but swimming laps is an excellent way to think.   I write wonderful blogs in my head when it is lap swimming day (which today was), but unfortunately there is not a computer in the pool with me or even a recording device of any sort for me to get all this gold on paper.

Today I was thinking about the purpose of this blog.  Should I be writing it for me, or should I be writing it for you?  Should I be writing it to help me sort through my thoughts and achieve my goals or should I be writing it to help out those who are where I was a year ago?
 
When I started it, I was full of grand wisdom and self-importance and thought that I had so much to share. I was thinking that I've accomplished so much that I could help others do the same.  The more I think about it, however, I realize that all of my tips and tricks aren't really anything special.  You could find similar things in a hundred different web sites or magazine articles, and just because they worked for me does not mean that they are the best solutions to your problems.

I also thought about the comments I've gotten and the stats Blogger gives me. As near as I can tell, only about five people read the blog regularly.  These people are my "biggest fans" and not necessarily interested in weight loss/healthy eating.  

Add to this the fact that I've continued to be unable to make any progress towards my goal of losing 100 pounds.  I've held steady at 84 pounds lost since I started writing.  I think partially I've hit a wall or a plateau with weight loss (and really, luckily, my first really bad one since I started losing) and partially I haven't been as "good" as I could have been when it comes to eating right.

So, I guess at the end of my 40-minute swim I came to the conclusion that maybe the blog should be more for me.  Clearly, I still have some food issues to work through (read: I'm crazy).  I may have lost 84 pounds, but I'm nowhere close to perfect and this plateau has me second guessing how I ever got this far. As I work through my neurosis via the world wide web, however, I still hope that my journey may provide some motivation for you to do something, even if it has nothing to do with weight loss or healthy living. We'll see how that goes.

Quick note: All I wanted to do today was read. I intentionally left my book at home so that I wouldn't skip my lunchtime workout in favor of reading and it put me in a really bad mood all morning.  Despite a bunch of excuses that bad-mood me came up with, I still went to the gym, and let me tell you, it AMAZES me at what a difference that lunch time workout makes. The minute I stepped into the locker room I was in a better mood, and at the end of the workout, I had forgotten why I was mad.  That is all. I'm going to read now.