Huge

So this summer, I watched the television show, “Huge” on ABC Family.  It was an hour-long dramedy about a bunch of teenagers at fat camp. I really enjoyed the show.  They featured actors who were actually overweight as the stars of the show. They explored a lot of topics that are big and scary like eating disorders, being comfortable in your own skin, having the courage to change yourself, etc.  A lot of it hit home with me, but particularly some things were said during an episode where self-sabotage was the theme.

The camp counselor, who is thin but who has struggled with food issues in the past and now attends Overeaters Anonymous, warns the campers about self sabotage. She says something about how making progress toward a goal is great, but there is often a side of ourselves that doesn’t want us to succeed, a part that is comfortable with ourselves and the campers have to guard against that.

Wow, that’s something that make you stop and think. Yeah, there are times when I mess up or get off track, but I have always chalked it up to a love of food.  Was it possible that these mistakes were my subconscious, eager for me to fail? Do I want to remain overweight so that I have an excuse for things not going my way? Am I afraid that by losing the extra weight that I have carried most of my life, I might lose a part of who I am?

The answer is, I think so.  Maybe self-sabotage is not the culprit every time I overeat, but making such a big life change is a scary thing.  I like who I am, and a gut reaction to changing who I am is “I don’t wanna.”  But after some analysis, is changing really a bad thing?  I’ve already changed a lot of behaviors, but essentially, I think I am the same. Pounds lost have not affected my personality, and I hope it never will.

In the same episode, one of the junior counselors asks the head counselor how he can help the campers avoid self-sabotage, and the head counselor says something very wise.

She says that she tries to set a good example, but that you sometimes can’t help someone succeed, because it is up to each individual to choose who they are going to be.  That’s powerful stuff. While it is important to ask for help from others, rely on friends to be workout buddies, or lean on people to listen when you need to talk; it is ultimately up to you. Whether you succeed or fail is all based on the choices you make. So, what choice are you going to make today to work towards your goal and turn away from your bad habits? And what do you think about self-sabotage? Is it something you're familiar with?