Why I Love Racing

I am determined that if I keep racing, one day I'm going to make a good friend out of one of the strangers that run near me.  It's one of my favorite things about racing. We all take off in a big pack, but in the first half mile everyone starts to space out and you quickly can spot who you're going to be running with for the next hour.

Today, I started next to an older-than-me gentleman who celebrated with me when we reached the 1 mile marker before we even had a chance to think about it.  He kept running, even when I stopped for a walk break, but I caught up again once I started running. 

I finished up near a mom in her 30s.  She had started out behind me, but caught up with me on one of my walk breaks. She said something encouraging as she passed me, which got me running again.  Then, somewhere between mile three and four, we were running next to each other when we appeared at the top of a big hill.  I said, "Whoo hoo, look at that awesome downhill!"  It really was a thing of beauty, so long and not steep, it was going to be a joy to run down.  You couldn't even see the end where it would inevitably rise.  Then eventually we could see the rise, and she looked at me and said, "Yeah, but what goes down..." and I finished her sentence with "Must come up!"  We kept each other going through that uphill and stayed close the rest of the race.  In mile 5, I ended up having to walk more than I would've liked.  My friend passed me and  kept going.  I saw her after I finished, and we congratulated each other.    

Besides the random runners near me, the other thing I love about races is the determination of each runner and the spirit of the volunteers.  We stayed around after and watched those who finished after me cross the finish line.  Each one finished at a run with a big smile on his or her face. It just makes you proud to watch, knowing what that person is feeling as they finish.  Plus, out on the course, there are a lot of volunteers at key intersections or water stops.  They are all so supportive and encouraging of us runners, it just makes you feel good.

So, you're probably wondering how I did.  I finished in one hour, eight minutes and 44 seconds.  I walked more than I would've liked, but I finished and not far off my goal of 1:06.  My pace was just over 11 minutes per mile, so I'm pretty happy. It gives me room for improvement when I run the Hot Chocolate 10k in Asheville in January, too!  Here's some pics!

Me and Jess, one of my running inspirations, just before the race, which was just after sunrise. The 10k was Halloween-themed, and lots of people were in costume for the race, so we felt the need to pose with something Halloween-y.

Go 352!

Post-race orange slice pictures are a must for me.

The Courage to Start

After I finished my last race six weeks ago, I went to hang out at my sister's house.  My niece eagerly greeted  me with, "So, did you win your race, Jill?"

It made me laugh, and I answered, "No, but I did really well."

See, she only understands winning and losing when it comes to races, but then again, she is only four.  She doesn't understand that just finishing the race is a major victory. She doesn't understand that coming in 197th in that 5k actually means I won.  As running expert and author John Bingham said, "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle was that I had the courage to start."

Tomorrow I'm running in my first 10k, which is 6.2 miles.  I won't be running the whole thing, I can guarantee you.  I'm actually pretty nervous about it, because I've had some not-so-great runs this week. (See yesterday's post on Wasted Worry for more info)

Still, a year ago I was just starting to run, and I could not run more than two minutes at a time. Keeping that in mind, everything I do now is a victory.  There is no way to lose.

I always run with my iphone, so if you want to send me some encouragement, I would love to get texts or even facebook messages (Those will be a little harder to check, but I might do it on a walk break) while I'm running.  The race starts at 7:45 a.m. eastern time and will last until about 9 a.m. with the way I run.

Wasted Worry

Today as I started my last run before my 10k this weekend, I was worrying.  My last couple of runs have not been great, and I was worrying about what I was getting into this weekend and whether or not I would be able to make it through the short run (three miles) I had planned for today.

Then I started thinking about how fruitless worrying always is. For instance last night I didn't sleep well because I had a photo shoot early this morning on campus with students and a VIP.  I was worried that the students wouldn't show up on time, that the VIP would have to wait, that the commencement robes I picked up to be worn in the photo wouldn't work size-wise, that the students wouldn't arrive dressed in the clothes I asked them to wear, and on and on. You get the picture.  But guess what? It went really well.  The students were all early and appropriately dressed and the robes were perfect and none of it was because I worried.  But then I started thinking, what would've happened if they hadn't shown up?  We would've rescheduled.  It wouldn't have been the end of the world; why did it keep me from sleeping last night?

Then all through a meeting this morning I worried about how I had one of our designers start on a project before I got clear direction from the client.  I was thinking about how I was going to show our progress without making it clear that we hadn't waited for more information, and then I worried that I had wasted the deisgner's time.  But when the time came to share it, everything was fine. I guess I did waste a little of his time, but the start he got on the project gave some direction to our conversation about where it needed to go and ultimately end up, so it wasn't completely wasted.

So even as I was running and thinking about these two very recent examples of wasted worry, I was still worrying about a second photo shoot I have tonight (will the student models show up?), the run I was currently running, the run I have foolishly agreed to do on Saturday, a scratchy throat I'm fighting and the next 10 pounds of my weight loss. This was all after my realization that worry is so wasted!

The thing is, I know in my head that it is pointless to worry, but is something I'm still pretty good at.  I think it comes down again to positive thinking.  You've got to fight worry with happy thoughts and maybe you have to "fake it til you make it," meaning that even if you don't feel positive or happy about something just act like you do.  Then eventually you will, I guess.

Here's to happy thoughts for my Saturday run! I'm still trying to convince myself I can do this!

A Fruity Experiment

So I was at the store this weekend, when I turned a corner in the produce section and came across a beautiful display of a particular fruit that I could not identify. Each piece of this particular fruit was a variety of colors, changing from a fresh-looking green to a ripe red.  It looked like a lot of the trees do right now; you know, they are in the process of changing colors so they are both green and red at the same time. They looked like this:

Anyway, I got closer, saw the tag identified it as a mango, and thought "I would like to eat this, but I do not know how". It's not the first time that I've seen fruits or vegetables that I would like to eat but can't even identify in the produce section.  See, I eat a lot of fruit, but pretty much only strawberries, grapes and bananas.

I came up with a brilliant plan to try out a new fruit or vegetable every once in awhile and let you know about it.  So today, I googled "How to eat a Mango" and found an answer on e-how.com (actually it was two answers:"how to eat from the skin" and "how to eat in civilized fashion." I chose to eat it civilizedly). Basically it worked a lot like a pineapple. It has a pit or a core in the middle of it, and you slice it vertically.
Here's what the inside looks like:

Now, I have no idea if these mangos were ripe, although one was slightly softer than the other, so I thought it probably was (maybe I should've Googled, "How to Tell if a Mango is Ripe").  To be honest, though, I was not in love with the fresh mango.  It had an almost choloriseptic taste.  I mean it wasn't horrible, it just wasn't good enough to be worth the effort of peeling and cutting up the mango.

Are there any fruits or vegetables you think I should try?  Let me know!

Make a Good Choice

Another edition of Memory Mondays....
First, some background.  Moe's, my favorite restaurant, is on the other side of town, about 20 minutes from my house.  That distance helps keep me from going there more than I should.  One of my typical meals at Moe's, while not completely unhealthy, averages 300-400 calories more than what I make for a meal at home.

One day last fall, I left work and had to run by the library to pick up some books I had on hold. It was a weekday, like a Tuesday. I had a delicious and nutritious meal waiting for me at home, but I was tired and missing my Moe's fix. When the idea that going to the library would take me halfway to Moe's crossed my mind, it never left. So from campus to the library, while I waited at the library, and as I began to drive away, I argued with myself about whether or not I should drive the rest of the way to Moe's or go home to the meal I had waiting for me in the fridge.  Literally, I had an actual conversation with myself about it.

As I approached the point where I had to turn to go to Moe's or continue straight to go home, I reached exasperation-level with myself and said out loud, "Just make a good choice, Jill." Then I continued straight.

I went home feeling really good about the decision I made.  Really empowered, I guess, like I actually had control over this crazy journey.  I have the power to decide which way to go, which path to take.  Food does not control me unless I let it.  It's something I try to remember, but can be easy to forget.  Even now, whenever I get into one of these arguments with myself over food, I remember that night and try to make the good choice.

A Saturday Running Adventure

So today my little Saturday morning running club of Kristy, Jess and myself went to run at the Greenway in Fort Mill for the first time.  It's kind of exciting to run in a new place for the first time. We get there and we're chatting with the guy that sits in the little shack at the entrance.  He asks what trail we're taking and we tell him the Sugar Trail.  He says "That one goes up and down like this" and makes a motion with his hand like a small ocean wave.  Then he says, "Even walkers find that trail challenging."

Immediately this made me nervous. I was hoping for a good solid six miles, running the whole way, looking to take that as a sign that I should register for the 10k (which is 6.2 miles) that is next weekend.  See it's a couple of weeks before my training program tells me I'll be ready, but there's not another 10k that I would want to do until the end of January. That is a long time to wait when you're this close. So, I've been trying to decide if I should do it or not.

So we start out, heading for the Sugar Trail.  The trails at the Greenway are unpaved, single file through the woods. Let me tell you, it is completely different doing trail running than it is to run on pavement through parks or neighborhoods. First, there were tree roots everywhere. You had to run with you head down the whole time.  Also, there were lots of leaves wet with dew, so you had to watch your step. It was probably really beautiful, but I couldn't tell you that for sure because all I saw was my feet, roots and leaves.

You also have to pay attention and know where you are going with trail runs.  This is key. The trails often cross each other or come together and then break apart. We got temporarily lost today, because I was leading and missed a turn. We were supposed to do the three-mile loop twice, but with what we tacked on that was extra, we only did it once and ended up with five miles. So, in the end, it worked out.

Even with all of the challenges today, my Saturday morning run is my favorite of the week because of the time spent with Jess and Kristy.  I get up earlier on Saturday to meet them for a run then I do to go to work during the week...and I don't mind!

So today we ended up walking more than I wanted, between the hills and the getting lost.  Still, by the end I decided that I've got to try the 10k next week.  I'm not expecting to run the whole distance, but I know I'll be able to run a majority of it it.  I'm not exactly sure what kind of time goal I should have my first time in a 10k, but it shouldn't take me more than an hour and ten minutes.  An hour and six minutes would be great, I guess, cause that would put me at about an 11 minute mile.  We'll see.

Not sure that this blog really had a point, but it's just what I'm thinking about today...

Fashion Play by Play

So, part of the reason I was able to lose 90+ pounds and not go completely broke was because I had some friends who, after cleaning out their closets, donated their unwanted clothes to me.  It is working like magic. I seem to get clothes from friends just when I need them. I had saved a couple of sizes of clothes of my own as I got larger. By the time I worked through those, I got my first huge donation from my friend Alyssa.  My sister, Amy, and my roommate Jen also donated a few items early on.  Then a couple of months later, Stephanie H. decided to up and move to England.  She had lots of clothes and lots of sizes to give me. I wear her stuff a lot; it's just an unfortunate coincidence that there is nothing from her in this diagram.  Finally, April, gave me a good assortment of clothes that have made me much more fashionable than I already am. I've had to buy very little new items, but still feel confident and great in my new-to-me clothes.  

While I don't want to give off the impression that I am a clothes-horse or crazy about clothing (I'm actually pretty far from it), wearing these clothes from my friends make me unexpectedly happy. Having clothes that fit is a huge boost when you're trying to lose weight. When I'm wearing these clothes, I think of the ladies they came from often, which makes me happy. Plus, they are usually items I wouldn't have purchased myself, so wearing them makes me feel kind of like an undercover super hero or just a little fancier than my average self. 

Maybe you're wondering  what I do with my clothes as I get smaller? The first batch I tried to give to friends, but I think for the most part those clothes were bigger sizes than they wear; I didn't get a lot of takers.  So that (huge) load went to Goodwill. Right now I'm working on a second pile of clothes to give away.  Who knows where they will end up!  

PS, if you're wondering, the necklace is from Wal-Mart.

You Have Lost Weight

So losing this much weight means I get to have a lot of awkward conversations with everyone from co-workers to neighbors to fellow church members.  They usually start in one of two ways:

1)  "You have lost weight."  (Yes, I have, thank you for noticing)

or

2) "You look great." (What did I look like before?)

Both of these are usually said very emphatically and slowly, with emphasis given to each word. I'm often not sure what else to say and it's usually at least slightly awkward, but it does mean a lot and makes me feel good.

It also means I get to have a lot of conversations about how I've "done it." I start with the short answer "working out and trying to watch what I eat." For some, this is all you want to know. You're just checking to make sure I'm not doing some crazy diet.  But if you seem interested, I give you more of the gritty details about calorie counting and how I use sparkpeople, how I make my meals in advance and plan my fruits and vegetables, how I work out a lot and I've started running. 

At this point, I get really excited, because I want so much to help you get to where I am.  I want to tell you everything I've learned over the last year. I want to see you do everything that I've done and then succeed.  But I've come to realize two things.

1)What works for me may not be the best solution for you.  These things work for me because I figured out what I was doing wrong (Overeating, stopping to get fast food for dinner on the way home from work, etc.) and I figured out a ways to curb the problems that fit within my lifestyle. (I don't have to cook for a family, and I'm able to work out on my lunch hour because I work about 20 feet from an amazing gym.) So even though I stand by my six days-a-week workouts and my Sunday afternoon grocery shopping and meal prep time, it may not be the solution your problem. Heck, you may not even have the same problems.

2)People have to chose to change. You may say to me that you want to lose weight and ask for all of the advice in the world, which I will happily share, but it all comes down to you, how you decide to live your life and the choices you make on a daily basis.  As I read somewhere, it's hard to be overweight and it's hard to lose weight. You just have to choose your hard.

So, I guess what I've learned is that instead of pushing my advice on you, I should 
try to help you figure out what is keeping you from reaching your goals and how then how you can fix it. Then it is up to you to decide to do it. 
Just some observations from the journey. 

A Little Inspiration

Need a little inspiration today? Check out some of these quotes about reaching your goals. If one jumps out at you, write it down on a notecard and post it somewhere you will see it!

"Success doesn't come to you, you go to it." -Marva Collins

"Success is a journey, not a destination." -Ben Sweetland

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." -Woody Allen  

"Success comes before work only in the dictionary." Anonymous  

"Success: willing to do what the average person is not willing to do." Anonymous  

"What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important as what you will become by reaching your destination." 

"Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success." -Dr. Joyce Brothers

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." -Ben Stein  

"I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature." -John D. Rockefeller 

"Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going."


Do you have any favorite quotes that inspire you to keep going? Share them in the comments section!

Diet Or Exercise?

I think you know that I work out a lot.  I try to get in six to seven workouts a week of at least 45 minutes.  I swim, I run, I do Turbo Kick and other group exercise classes. I have spent a lot of time on treadmills and elliptical machines at the gym, although I’m staying away from them more these days.  I lift weights and even did nine weeks of the insane Insanity program with Shaun T this summer. I rotate such a large variety of activities to keep from getting bored. Of course, I did not start off with such an extreme regimen, but added and improved over time as my body became more fit.

With all this exercise, I have also learned the importance of a rest day.  In the beginning I felt guilty taking a day off, like I was a failure.  It’s taken awhile, but I’ve come to realize that too much of a good thing is never good and that my body needs time to rest, repair and revitalize itself.

We've all heard that exercise is an important part of a healthy life.  What I’ve learned, though, is that it is not the main ingredient in weight loss.  No matter how much you work out, you will be not be successful with weight loss unless you get your eating/calorie consumption under control.  Now on the other hand, if you are physically unable to exercise, you can control your weight by controlling your portions and calories. 

The exercise speeds the process and tones your body at the same time. 

Today, I love exercise, but my food intake is something I still have to constantly work on.  Which do you struggle with more, fitting in work outs or fighting with food?

*disclaimer: I am not a doctor or an exercise expert. This is just what I’ve observed based on personal experience.

Acceptable

Stay tuned for the 2nd installment of Memory Mondays...

In the middle of May, I started a workout program called Insanity that was run through the gym at work.  Before beginning, we had our body fat percentage calculated by our resident fitness guru, Lindy, so that we could compare them with our results at the end. It was the first time I was brave enough to have my body fat percentage measured.

We got the results on May 23, and much to my surprise, I was in the “Acceptable” range for my age group, 30-49 year olds. 

I immediately freaked out.  Yes, I had spent the last 10 months trying very hard to improve my health. Yes, I had also lost 80 pounds. But I was still in plus-size pants! And according to the online body mass index, I still needed to lose 60 more pounds to be in the “healthy” range for my height.

I wrote Lindy an email explaining that I could not possibly have an “acceptable” body fat percentage. I told her that I am overweight, I always have been.  Was it possible that she miscalculated?

It turns out that she is very good at what she does, (not that I was really doubting her) and she has a one percent accuracy guarantee when it comes to body fat calculations. She first told me I needed to stop thinking about the body mass index scale. Because it is only based on height, it takes nothing else into consideration (like the fact that my hips make it clear that I’m a descendant of the Johnson family).  She reminded me that I just turned 30 two weeks before, so I was just barely into this higher age range, and I might consider looking at how my percentage measured up in the 16-29 age group. When I took a look at their chart, my body fat percentage was, just barely, considered “Overfat.” Crazily, despite how hard I worked, this was actually more acceptable to me. After all, it’s all I’ve ever known.

Lindy also reminded me that I had come a long way and that maybe I needed to appreciate the work I had put in, recognizing the changes in myself.  She suggested that perhaps I shouldn’t be so concerned with the categories and the charts and just concentrate on improving my percentage over the next two months of the program. 

So, I did.  I stopped thinking about the number and concentrated on these insane workouts instead (turns out, Insanity is aptly titled).  At the end of the summer, when our results were measured again, I had not lost any weight, but I had reduced my body fat percentage by almost a whole percentage point, putting me squarely in the “acceptable” category for both age groups.   Pretty crazy.

Now when negative thoughts creep in about how far I still have to go, I try to stop them in their tracks by reminding myself of how far I've come.  If you're trying to lose weight, it's a good idea to get your body fat measured and use that as another way to see your progress.

Don't Fail to Plan

So back several years ago, when I was attending Weight Watchers meetings, one of the sayings they had was:

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

And let me tell you, it is so true.  If you don't prepare, mentally and physically, it is really hard to be successful. I'm sure this applies to many other life areas, but especially when it comes to diet and exercise.  Part of the reason I think I did so poorly last week was because I didn't spend Sunday afternoon preparing meals for the week.  I was busy, so I thought that some leftovers and frozen meals would get me through the week. Boy, was I wrong.

That's one of the secrets of my weight loss: pretty much every Sunday afternoon since I've started, I spent time planning and preparing my meals for the week.  So, this week, I thought I'd let you in on the experience.

Yesterday, I did my weekly grocery shopping. I stocked up on strawberries, bananas, spinach, cereal, almond milk, chicken breasts...you get the picture. Before I went to the store, I perused my saved Sparkrecipe.com recipes and found two that I thought I'd like to try this week. I decided to make Cream Cheese Basil Fettucine, one of my favorite sparkrecipes, and a new recipe, Tomato and Spinach Chicken.

So today, I made them when I got home from church.  As I put each ingredient into the dish, I write down the calories and the fat grams and how many servings I've put in.  Then when I finish making the dish, I multiply out the calories and fat for each ingredient, add them up and then divide by the number of servings I made. It looks a like this:

Now, many recipes today come with the nutrition ingredients listed, so you may wonder why I do this.  Well, I usually try to get products with the lowest calorie count when I'm at the store. So, one brand of whole wheat pasta may be 200 calories for 2 oz, but another maybe 180 calories for 2 oz.  I try to get the one with the lowest calories every time. Plus, sometimes I modify the recipes. For instance the Cream Cheese Basil Fettucine is higher in calories than I normally like. So I put in less olive oil and butter than the recipe requires.
I want the calories that I keep track of every day to be accurate, and it won't be unless you figure out the exact calories for the meal that you are making.

After I make a meal, I divide it into the servings that I've accounted for and put it in individual Tupperwares. This is great, because it makes lunches and dinners during the week so easy. I just pull out one Tupperware and off to work I go.  This week, I bought grapes for a snack, so I also pre-packaged them into individual servings.

So here's my food for the week:

Every morning I have cereal (GoLEAN Kashi Crunch) and strawberries with almond milk.  For lunch I will have one of the Tupperwares lined up in the back of the picture, which are individual servings of Cream Cheese Basil Pasta. My snacks are bananas and grapes. I also have almonds and Luna bars already in my desk at work, if I need an extra boost of energy.  My dinners this week will be the Tomato and Spinach Chicken, which is at the forefront of the picture. They had just come out of the oven, so I hadn't had time to Tupperware them yet.  But they smelled so good, I made the executive decision to have one for much lunch today.   

Plated on my small plates, it looks like a lot of food! It's bedded on brown rice and the juicy tomatoes and crisp bacon made it all delicious!

This is what Bon looks like the entire time I'm cooking. So hopeful. I'm pretty sure it is her favorite time of the whole week, as she is just waiting for me to screw up and drop some scraps for her.  She eats pretty much anything I drop, except today we discovered that she is not a spinach fan.  I dropped a few of the fresh leaves. She made a mad dash for them and then slowly walked away without eating them.

So that's it.  I'm always looking for new recipes, so if you have any great ones, please share!

It's Mental

You will not believe how trapped in my head I have been this week. I gave up on myself.  I had no energy or desire to work out, so I didn't. I was tired, I was sad, and I was stressed. I ate out way too many times.

I skipped my workout on Tuesday and Wednesday all together.  In my running training program, my runs are getting to be dauntingly long. Last Saturday I reached a new distance, but I did it while running alongside a friend, and I think I was scared that I couldn't go that long/far again by myself. Plus, my runs are getting too long to do on a lunch hour, so I need to figure out how to make time for them at night.

This whole time that I was sabotaging my efforts, I knew I was being stupid. I knew I should call someone and confess my backward slide. I knew that if I would just do some kind of workout I would feel better. But I couldn't make myself do either.  It was easier to stay trapped in my head.

So tonight I got a message from a friend who was checking in on me.  I responded with the truth of how my week has been going and made myself sick from the whiney, "woe-is-me" nature of this message.  So after sending the message I walked to my car and drove to Manchester Meadows before I could talk myself out of it.  I told myself as I started it didn't matter how far I went, I just had to get started. It was a beautiful evening. Before I knew it, I had run five miles in 56 minutes with two walk breaks of one minute each.  That's a new record! That's more running time than what I did with my friend last Saturday.  

While running I had a lot of time to think (one of running's many benefits).  I was thinking about how running is such a mental game.  I'm to the point now that I am physically able to run (relatively) long distances. But each time I go out there, I have the ability to psych myself out of a run. I've noticed that the attitude with which I approach a run workout completely changes the kind of workout I have.  

Dieting is the same way.  A big key to success is believing you can do it. If you go into a day expecting to fail, then you probably will.  Stating your goals in the present tense, rather than the future tense, tricks you into believing you have already achieved it.  When you have yourself believing that it can be accomplished, it really will be accomplished.  Don't be afraid to give yourself a little pep talk when you need it (if people look at you like you are crazy, it's okay. You probably are a little). If you don't have the energy or mood or internal motivation to give the pep talk to yourself, find a good friend and let them do it.  Anything to get yourself out of your own head. It's mental.

P.S. I saw someone on a diet forum today refer to her "liveit" as opposed to her "diet." Get it? LIVE-It and  DIE-it?  I thought it was kind of cute. Corny, but cute.

Life List

So eventually, I'm going to get around to posting a serious blog about goals and how important they are to have and to evaluate regularly, etc.  But tonight, I thought it might be fun to post some things I just want to do someday.   In preparation, I went and dug out a "life list" I made in 2005 and thought I'd share most of it with you. I've edited the list to remove some things that are highly personal/highly stupid/unfit for the public's consumption. Progress is also noted, for your reading fulfillment.

1. Visit all 50 states. (Still working on this.)
2. Visit all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums (I believe I have stalled out at six stadiums, but I'm not giving up just yet.)
3. Visit all of the continents, except Antarctica. (Hope to visit my second continent next year when I go to see the amazing Stephanie Hardy.)
4. Finish my M.B.A. (GIANT CHECKMARK HERE)
5. Cameo on "The Office." (I would settle for a set visit.)
6. Go to San Fransisco. (someday)
7. Lose 100 pounds. (See, this was a goal I had in 2005. Now, five years later, I might actually accomplish it!)
8. Sing with a live band. (Check!)
9. Own a dog. (Check!)
10. Go skydiving. (someday)
11. Learn to play the guitar. (I've since accepted my lack of musical talent and given up all music-related goals.)
12. Learn to play golf. (This was a phase I was going through. I no longer feel a need to know how to play golf. But I wouldn't mind learning to play golf's more-hip cousin, disc golf)
13. Learn to salsa (I think the cha-cha slide is good enough for me.)
14. Own a house. (Check!)
15. Learn how my car works.(I bought a book on the subject, but it did not help.)
16. Be proficient with graphic design. (I wrote this before I started working with graphic designers. I think I have achieved a base level of proficiency, but will, sadly, never have talent.)
17. Be fashionable. (Thanks to the generous donations of "clean-out-the-closet"clothes from more fashionable friends, I'm as close now as I will ever be.)

Now some new goals that were not on the list in 2005, but I'd like to add:
18. Hike down into the Grand Canyon and back out.
19. Love others the way I am loved. (definitely a work in progress.)
20. Complete a sprint triathlon.(hopefully, next May)
21. Run a 10k. (I don't have a race in mind, but it will be somewhat soon!)
22. Run a half marathon.


Do you have a life list? If not, you should make one.  What are some highlights?  Share in the comments below!

His Compassions Never Fail

So, I'm introducing a new segment here on the blog, "Memory Mondays."  See, since I did not start blogging about this journey until I had already lost quite a bit, I feel like you, my faithful readers, missed out on a lot of the anguish and celebration in the first 80 pounds.  In what will hopefully be a recurring feature on the blog, I'm going to look back at certain events, turning points, experiences, etc. that I had along the way and see what I learned from them. One thing that will make this more difficult is that I have a horrible memory, but I'll take my best shot at it. Here's the first addition of Memory Mondays, which is particularly appropriate today, which is my third straight day of poor eating habits. Tomorrow is a new day.

One Sunday, early in my journey (read: last fall) and after a particularly bad weekend of eating, I was quieter than usual at Bighouse, our church’s weekly youth group meeting, where I am a small group leader for a group of amazing high school girls.  When the band began to play and students and adults around me were praising God for his blessings, I drew to the back of the group to be alone in my sulking. 

It was there that my friend Stephanie H. found me.  She asked if I was okay, because she is used to seeing me up front, dancing and singing loudly off-key.  Before I knew it, I started crying and spilled out everything, how I was trying to diet and how it was so hard.  How I had messed up again and how afraid I was of failing, since that was the only outcome I’d ever known when it came to dieting. She listened, she empathized and she prayed for me. The next day, she posted Lamentations 3:22-23 on my Facebook. It says, “Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Just being able to confess and discuss my anguish over it helped, but this verse helped even more. It’s something I’ve brought with me on the journey ever since.  When I have messed up and I am despairing about the mistakes I’ve made, I try to remember this verse. Each day is a new set of challenges and a new opportunity to succeed at my goals, and because of the Lord’s love, faithfulness and compassion for me, I am able to try again.

If you're trying to change something, and get easily discouraged by failed attempts, I hope this verse will encourage you.  Write it down and put it somewhere you will see it regularly.

Roots

So this weekend I spent many hours digging up all of my day lilies and replanting them next to my house. For any of you have ever been to my house, you realize what a massive job that was.  For any of you have not been to my house, let me just say that it took me about 11+ hours to do it over the course of two days. Now, when I close my eyes, all I see are day lily roots.

See the day lilies really liked where they were planted, and over the three years they were there, they multiplied like crazy, sending out these little tube-like shoots into the ground.  They kind of looked like carrots.  And actually, each plant had more than one kind of root, they had a couple each of the carrot-look-a-like kind, but then each one also had about a bajillion of these tiny roots that really gripped the dirt around it.

So over the course of the 11+ hours, I had a lot of time to think.  In the beginning, I was angry that I was going to be spending a majority of my weekend working in the yard instead of doing something more exciting.  I eventually got over my anger and thoughts gave way to pain (from a blister and from sitting in an awkward position for a long time) and fatigue.  Eventually, those thoughts transitioned to food.  I immediately determined that I "deserved" to have Zaxby's and milkshake that day and the thought kept me going the rest of the time.

And then I had Zaxby's and a milkshake.

That was Saturday.  Sunday was pretty much a repeat, but without anger and with BoJangles instead of Zaxby's.  And both of these meals replaced healthy meals that I already had made and sitting in my fridge.

Now coming off of last week when I reached my 90 pound goal, you would think that I would be pretty motivated to continue to eat well, but even after more than a year of this healthier lifestyle my natural instinct is still to go straight for the junk food. Now hold on, cause this is where this blog comes full circle.  See, I'm going to posit that I've put down years' worth of "roots" in bad eating. And just like the roots of the day lilies, it's going to take a lot of digging to get them up.  And its' going to be tiring, and painful sometimes, and will probably make me angry from time to time.  But I've got to keep pushing through, and hope that I can eventually shake all of those tiny little gripper roots someday.

It's all a mental game.

Remember

It's easy to forget sometimes, but when I get down on myself and this song by David Crowder comes on my ipod, then I remember:


The day is brighter here with You
The night is lighter than its hue
Would lead me to believe
Which leads me to believe

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory
You are glorious You are glorious
From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious
Which leads me to believe
why I can believe 


You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious.
You are glorious. You are glorious.

- David Crowder Band

Victory Boots

These boots are boots of victory.  See, this summer I was fortunate enough to  receive the gift of many skirts from friends who cleaned out their closets.  They became practically all I wore to work, mostly because I had no pants that fit.  So with autumn approaching, I was wondering what I was going to wear when it became too cold for skirts.
Then it hit me! If I could get some tall boots, I could continue wearing a lot of the skirts through most of the winter. So about a month ago, I set a goal to lose 90 pounds and decided when I did, I would buy myself tall boots as a reward.
Well, today, I hit 89.5 pounds lost (ah, the power of rounding!) and tonight I am the proud owner of tall boots.
Rewarding yourself along the way is an important part of weight loss. I've had several goals with rewards that have helped me get this far.  At 30 pounds lost, I got my own copy of  the Time Traveller's Wife. At 50 pounds lost, I bought some new tennis shoes. You get the picture. These boots are especially sweet since it took me five months to achieve these last ten pounds. And I've got big plans for when I make it to 100 pounds. Stay tuned. You'll see.
Do you regularly set goals?  If you do, do you reward yourself when you reach them? How?

*This blog and these boots are dedicated to my friend April G., who loves boots,

Get Creative

This week, I've been able to fit in a bunch of extra "calorie burns" without even realizing it.  Here's how I snuck up on myself with these fun workouts.

• Saturday I walked around on our campus's golf course for an hour taking pictures of families playing disc golf during Family Weekend.  While it was a leisurely pace, I learned a lot about disc golf and had a fun time meeting the families.  It was a perfectly beautiful day, and I was glad to be outside.
• Amie organized a hike on Sunday to Crowder's Mountain.  We walked uphill in the beautiful woods for an hour, burning calories and taxing our quads, talking about a myriad of things.  Then we got to the top, took pictures and ate a snack.  We climbed downhill for an hour, scrambling over boulders and working our glutes and calves along the way.  Before you know it, we had 2+ of exercise done and lots of good time in the fresh air with friends.
• Yesterday my team had an intramural softball game.  I've never really counted softball as a workout, cause it's just fun.  But each time the ball was hit I would take off after it. I was playing right field and only one ball actually came in my range the whole night, but it's still instinct to move toward the ball.  Plus it was cold, so I had to continually jump around or dance in place to stay warm.  All that stopping and starting burned some quality calories by raising and lowering my heart rate.  
• Today I started a multi-day yard project that got me outside and digging in the dirt.  While I never would've chosen to do this tonight after work if I had the option, it was a beautiful evening to be outside and was better for me than laying on the couch like I wanted to do. 

So, a lot of people think exercise is drudgery.  That it is something to be tolerated or endured. Really, it just takes a little creativity to find activities that you enjoy and that helps your body at the same time. I've even got a few more ideas for fun forms of exercise I'd like to try.  I've never played tennis, but it looks like a wicked good workout.  (Anybody want to loan me a racquet and play with me?)

What are fun ways that you exercise without even realizing it?  Anybody have a sport or activity you want to try but haven't yet?

Thanks.

So, while stalking Facebook today, I saw a friend post this site to another friend:  http://thxthxthx.com/.You should check it out (go ahead, check it out, I will wait here. Just make sure you come back). It's a blog and the "about" section reads:


Leah Dieterich's mother always told her to write thank you notes. So she does. To everything. thxthxthx is her daily exercise in gratitude. 


And it inspired me to say thanks today to these people/things, in no particular order:


Thanks, almonds, for being such a tasty, healthy and packed-full-of-protein snack.
Thanks, Abi, for your ability to listen and remember and pray and care and not judge.  I wouldn't be this close to my goal without you.
Thanks, scale, for the times you go down (we won't discuss other times here).
Thanks, ipod, for always knowing the right song to play and for keeping me moving during workouts.
Thanks, mom and dad, for being the kind of parents that encourage and support. I don't think most people are lucky enough to have the kind of relationship with their parents that I do with mine.
Thanks, West Center, for being the most awesome gym and for being only 20 feet from one of my office doors.
Thanks, readers, for your encouraging comments either in the comments section below, via facebook or in person. They mean so much to me.
Thanks, Monica and Ellen, for being such great workout partners for me before I liked working out. I never would've kept it up in the beginning without you.
Thanks, McAlister's, for being the easiest restaurant to eat at and still stick to my diet. I love your easy-to-use online nutrition guide and your multiple tasty low-cal options.
Thanks, collarbone, for sticking out and reminding me how far I've come.
Thanks, Cindy, for believing in me and encouraging me.
Thanks, bananas, for being such a tasty, yet highly portable and accessible snack.
Thanks, water, for being such a remarkable source of refreshment and health and also a fun way to workout.
Thanks, Stefanie, for being such a fitness inspiration and running role model. Thanks for running my first 5k with me too; it meant so much.
Thanks, 30th birthday, for inspiring me to make a change.
Thanks, skin, for shrinking back into place, when the fat below you burned away. I was really worried you'd want to stay the same size and I'd end up looking weird, but you really are a remarkable organ.
Thanks, sparkrecipes.com, for always helping me find easy and healthy recipes.
Thanks, Alyssa and April and Stephanie H. and Amy W., for giving me clothes that you did not need any more and saving me hundreds of dollars as I changed sizes. Also, thanks for making me more fashionable than I naturally am.
Thanks, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, for finally solving my "what to eat for breakfast?" dilemma.
Thanks, Jen, for enduring my crazy, taking care of Bon so I can stay late to work out, and adjusting to my "no eating out" regimen.
Thanks, legs, for continuing to work well, with minimal soreness, even though I punish you by making you run multiple miles at a time.
Thanks, Lindy and Dre and Chalene, for Turbo Kick. Man, I love Turbokick.
Thanks, Turbo Kick, for being the most awesome, kick-butt way of working out.
Thanks, Matt and Lynne, for enduring the Insanity work out with me. I never would've kept going without you there. Thanks also for the regular encouragement and workout advice.
Thanks, softball, for being the best sport ever invented, and a fun way to burn extra calories without even realizing it.
Thanks, Amie, for being the most regular commenter on the blog; it helps to know someone is reading. Thanks also for your general attitude toward life and God and friends and giving and receiving that helps make me a better person.
Thank you, God, for giving me breath, strength, perseverance, love, friends, family, grace, eternal life, and a million other things, even though I deserve none of these. You deserve so much more praise than these few lines in blog can give you. I hope that by honoring my body, I am honoring you.


Love,
Jill


(Thanks, Jess, for finding and posting the thank you note link.)

Five Steps

So when I wrote my 5k recap a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't entirely honest. Since then, I've told two people the truth, which is, I ran the whole 5k except for somewhere between five and ten steps.
** I didn't count the steps, so I don't have an exact number. I'm just going with five steps for the rest of the blog, because it helps the narrative to not have to say "somewhere between five and ten steps" each time.

Now, you may be thinking, "Five steps? Why would she make a whole blog post out of five steps? What's the big deal?"  Two reasons:
1) I try to be honest, and I don't like that when people have asked me how I did, I've said "Great! I ran the whole race." When really in the back of my mind, all I'm thinking about are those five steps and how I'm a liar. I'm not sure why I've been leaving the five steps out of conversation. Maybe because it's just simpler or maybe because of reason #2.

2) Those five steps mean a lot. They mean I was admitting defeat. They mean I was giving up on my goal.  They mean that I was okay with taking the easy way out.  I actually made a conscious decision to stop running, even though I knew that I could run that distance (I had done it in training) and I had set a goal to run the whole 5k.  Luckily, my body didn't let me give up on myself.  When I slowed to the walk so quickly, I got dizzy.  I  thought, "I'd rather be running and tired than walking and dizzy" so I picked it back up again, and that's why it was only five steps.

So, while I'm not proud of the decision to drop to a walk, I'm trying to use it as a learning experience.  Reminding myself of the importance of setting and meeting goals, knowing I would never have gotten as far as I have without them. Remembering that my health is too important to give up on myself.   I've still got around 14 pounds to lose before I make it to the big 100 pounds lost. It's been slower going of late, but that doesn't mean I can admit defeat, give up on my goal and take the easy way out.  Nope, I'm going to keep running toward the finish.

Running (and weight loss) is such a mental game.

Oh, and since the last 5k post, they've published the official race times.  Mine was 33min,36seconds, which is six seconds shy of being two minutes quicker than my last 5k.  I finished 197th out of three hundred and something runners and walkers.