Lesson #2

I know it's January 31 and not January 1, but I seem to be resolving to do a lot of things lately.  I told you last week about how I'm making an effort to live life*, but the other major thing I've been thinking about lately is how I need to choose to be happy.

See, I started noticing that I was complaining a lot.  About work, about people, about neighbors with yappy dogs, about anything that crossed my path, really. And the complaining was bothering me (and if it was bothering me, what was it doing to those who were forced to listen to it?).  One day, I got so sick of this that I stopped mid-story and told the guy I was talking to, "You know what? I feel like all I ever do is complain when I talk to you, and I don't want to be that person, so I'm going to stop talking now."

I think I used to be a naturally happy person.  Now I would describe myself more as a naturally neutral person who tends to gravitate toward the bad side of things instead of the good. I don't like that change.

So for the past couple of weeks, I've had sort of an internal mantra going.  Choose Joy.  When I get irritated or upset or stressed, and I start the internal litany of complaints, I stop and say to myself, "No. Choose joy." And just that thought allows me to change my mindset. To realize that I am in control of my attitude. To focus on the positives.  I am actually really lucky, because the choose joy mantra is something that is coming into my brain on its own.  I think my next step is to set up a dance music playlist (Is it weird that I don't have one already? I feel like this is something I should have) so I can bust out a quick dance party if things are really dire and need to bounce back to Joytown.

I'm not saying I'm never negative now and don't ever complain.  But I am catching myself more often. And catching myself is half the battle. ** This is one of those things that I'll continue to work on for awhile.  Because I want to be a Joyful Jill***, not a Negative Nancy.

*ever since I posted the Live Life lesson, I've regretted that term. How generic is "live life"?  I suppose we are our own worst critics, and you guys got the drift of what I was saying. But of course we need to live life, right? Cause otherwise we'd be dead.
**and the other half is dancing my way back to Joytown, apparently.
***do you ever have to play that game where you pick an adjective that starts with the same letter as your first name? Mine is always Joyful Jill or Jubilant Jill.
****if your name is Nancy, I do not mean to imply that you are negative by nature.  I just like the alliteration.

Lessons I'm learning in 2014

At the end of this, the first month of the two thousand and fourteenth year of our lord, I feel like I'm being a taught a lot of lessons.  Things have been dawning on me lately and I'm going, "you know what? That makes a lot of sense."  I want to record these lessons here for myself, so I'm gonna start a little muti-part series here on the blog. Here's the first thing:

Live Life
As an introvert, my natural tendency is to stay home.  I love my house where I live alone with my dog and my couch and my blankets (among other things. Those are just my favorite things).  I love to read (alone). I love to watch tv (alone). I love to sing while washing the dishes (alone).  There's nothing wrong with any of these activities, there's nothing wrong with being alone, and I do think I need a healthy amount of both to re-energize for work and life in general.

But life has got to be more than that. At least mine does. It's got to be connections with people and stories to tell and experiences that make me laugh.

It seems like, especially as I get older, it's just easier to stay home and do my own thing. To stick to routine instead of sticking my neck out. Which is weird, because I figured out a long time ago that an interesting life is a much better way to go.

So this is one of the lessons I'm learning these days. Live life. Try new things. Meet up with people I haven't seen in awhile, even if it means I have to extend the initial invitation.  Invite people to study a book with you, even if that's kind of a scary thing to put out there. Have experiences that give me new stories to tell.

You know what doesn't matter? How many books I end up reading this year.  Lots of people seemed impressed with my 95 books last year, but my only reading goal for this year is to read less.  Not because I don't value it, but I want to value relationships more.

My first big realization with this lesson came last weekend. My friend Taylor had invited me to come to Atlanta to participate in a flash mob, and I was hesitant at first. It seemed like a long way to go for something silly.  Finally, after I thought about it for almost a whole week, I realized this was a chance to live an interesting life. Why would I pass that up? Let's face it, if I'd stayed home, I probably would've just bonded a little bit more with my couch.

This isn't something that comes easy, but it's something I'm willing to work on. Thoughts?



PS: BTDUBBS, you can thank my friend Cindy for this blog post. She did something for me and instead of letting me repay her, she suggested I offer payment in the form of a blog post a week.  I have missed my blog, so that was a payment plan I was willing to accept.

Made to Crave?

If you know me, or you read my blog, you probably know that this whole healthy eating/healthy living/losing weight and keeping it off thing is a S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E for me. And I dial back the crazy considerably for the blog audience.*

Two years ago I read a book called "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst.  When I read it, it had a profound impact on my attitude toward food and dieting, etc.  But then I finished the book after a few days, returned to my normal book-diet of easy-to-digest fiction**, and promptly forgot a lot about what I learned.  I remember thinking when I finished it that I should just re-read it continuously forever so I wouldn't forget its truths, but didn't follow through with that.

I pulled it off of my bookshelf a few months ago with the intention of reading it again, but it has sat on my dresser untouched ever since.  I'm having a hard time starting it again, even though I know it would help.

I've been tinkering with an idea - I'd like to read it in conjunction with others for accountability and for discussion.  I know a lot of people face the same struggles with food that I do. I think talking about it helps; I feel less like a weirdo when I share with you guys and you seem to know what I'm talking about.

So, here's the pitch - if you'd like to read Made to Crave along with me, I'd love that.  I would also love if we could gather on a weekly or bi-weekly** to talk about what we're reading.  It's a pretty slim book so it would not be too taxing.  If you're interested, but you live far away, still let me know that you're interested. Maybe we could set up a Facebook group or something to share thoughts.

I don't have any details yet, about where we would meet or what day or how much we should read between meetings, I just want to gauge interest. All of that really depends on the group. If you understand the struggle and you think you maybe kind of could possibly want to join me in reading this, either send me an e-mail [stuckeyjc at gmail.com], a Facebook message or leave a comment below.

I think this book is worth your time.


*You're welcome.
**See what I did there? mixing food metaphors in while talking about books and reading?  Confusing or a seriously effective communication tool? You decide.
***Is bi-weekly the kind that is every other week or the kind that is twice a week? Cause I mean the kind that is every other week.

The above picture was clearly stolen from Amazon. But maybe it helps that the links in the blog point back to Amazon?