97 Pounds Lost, Week Two

I don't know about you, but when I made it to 97 pounds lost last week, rather unexpectedly, I sort of started thinking that I could be done by today (I always weigh on Thursday mornings).  Certainly, I thought I could be done by next Thursday, which just happens to fall conveniently two days before Christmas.  Visions of sugar plums danced in my head, "Yes! I'll be done before Chrismas!" What a great Christmas present for myself.

It's not unheard of to lose three pounds in a week. True, the "experts" say you should not lose more than 1-2 pounds a week to be healthy, but it's doable. Three pounds in two weeks could almost be considered standard. So I went into this week, the third since my diet reboot, gung-ho and ready to conquer it all.

Last Thursday (the beginning of a weight loss week for me) was our office Christmas lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, where I did splurge on cheesecake. However, I took half home and ate that over the course of three days.  So while I went over my calories on Thursday, Friday and Saturday I was back on track and very well-behaved, which is almost unheard of over the weekend.

Sunday morning I decided to weigh to see how close I was to my goal.  I have a rule that I should only weigh once a week.  Weighing more often really messes with your head. I know this. It has happened to me many times over the last 17 months.  However, the pull of the scale and the numbers means that I break this rule almost every week. 

So when I stepped on the scale Sunday morning and saw that I had gained two pounds, it made me angry.  Now, please know that I had just had two GREAT weeks of weight loss before this.  I lost more in those two weeks than I really should've, but I took it for granted, and it made me greedy.  These two pounds on a Sunday morning were probably just my body adjusting to the big drop the two weeks before. Still, it was a big deal.  Five pounds from my goal means definitly not before Christmas.

It made me angry and in the past, this would've given me the attitude of "What's the point of being good, if I'm not going to lose?"  If I'm honest, I did have that attitude Sunday, but I'm still close enough that the end is in sight and that, combined with laziness (there really wasn't much "bad" food in my house, readily available for me to eat), kept me from going wild.

Since Sunday, I've weighed every day.  (Which, for the record, I don't believe anyone should do. It makes you even more crazy.) I've also worked out extra, doing two workouts a day, three days this week (I also don't really reccommend this. It makes your body and your brain extra tired, instead of giving you extra energy.)  Each morning when I weighed, I was still up two pounds, so each day I was fighting the "What's the point of being good?" argument.  Somehow, I was largely able to stay on track with my calories.

So this morning rolls around and I have inexplicably lost the two pounds again. I'm at the same weight I was last week, 97 pounds lost.  This is good, but it means I won't be done by Christmas.  But really, what's the big deal if I'm done by Christmas or not?  I think I thought that if I was done by Christmas I wouldn've have to be as strict over the holiday.  The fact is, I'll really never be "done." When I reach this goal, I will set another weight goal (more about that in a future post.) Even when I get to a point where I am comfortable with my weight, I will still have to be careful with what I eat. The whole point is for it to be lost and never found again, right? 

So I guess it all boils down to, I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself this week for no reason. Does it really matter if I've lost 95 pounds, or 97 pounds or even 100? (Except 100 brings a wicked sweet reward.)
No. It doesn't. 

Ode to the West Center

This is my ode to the Center of West

When it comes to gyms, it's simply the best.

There are so many activities to do within its walls

I might jump on the elliptical or play racquetball.

Kicking through Turbo or swimming in the pool,

Running on the track when the weather's too cool

And a few times a week, I visit the weight room --

 When big guys drop weights they make a big boom.

I can get my sweat on, all on my own

or work out with friends, in a whole other zone.

Without your help, I'd never have dropped pounds

Or know what to do with the energy I've found.

As I've lost inches, you've helped make me strong,

A transformation that really is just never wrong.

So thanks, West Center, you've helped change my life,

and made exercise way more fun, and not strife.

Graphic Short Story

If the Harness Fits...

Another edition of Memory Mondays...

A lot of times people who have lost a lot of weight have this moment where it all began. This is often some supremely embarrassing story where they were overweight, and they broke a chair when they sat in it or didn't fit in an airplane seat or had a child say something bluntly honest about their weight in front of strangers.  In stories of great weight loss, this is the origin, the turning point, where they decide to change their lives.

My supremely embarrassing incident actually came about three weeks into my weight loss journey, back in August 2009. Our annual back to school staff party was at the campus gym.  It had a  "fun and games" theme, so they had set up a lot of different games: air hockey, board games, Wii, etc.  They also had the two-story rock climbing wall open.

I had attempted the rock climbing wall once when I was in college, but that was way back when and in a different gym. At the party, I really wanted to give it a try. After all, I had already lost some weight and I was working out, so I couldn't be too horrible. 

Except that I didn't even fit in the harness. The student who was monitoring/working the wall showed me how to step into the harness and then stood there awkwardly as I tried to pull it up over my hips. I let the straps all the way out. I struggled. I tugged. But no matter how I tried, I could not get it on. I turned to her and hopefully said, "Do you have any larger harnesses?" She said no, and I said, "I guess I'm not climbing the wall today," and walked away. 

It made me feel absolutely horrible. There is no adequate way to describe the embarrassment I felt. The only good thing about it is that none of my coworkers had seen me approach the wall and none of them knew what had happened.   I had been talking about trying to climb all night and several people asked me later when I was going to try. I just told them I had changed my mind. They thought I was just scared, and I was okay with that. 

Ever since then, as I've shed the pounds, I have wanted to try again. But even as I lost 60, 70, 80+ pounds and became stronger, I was too scared to try again. I was scared that even with the significant weight loss I wouldn't fit in the harness again and I would be subject to further embarrassment.

Last Wednesday, I was walking out of our Red, Green and Bling Zumba/Hip Hop Dance Off when I saw the rock climbing wall was open. I knew that now was the the time to try again, so I asked my friend Kimberly to tackle it with me. 

I was extremely nervous as we talked to the workers, got our shoes and our harnesses.  I was nervous right up until that harness slid up over my hips with ease.  I really have changed!

We had to first learn how to belay each other as we climbed. (Belaying is the person who stands on the ground and holds the other end of the rope that the rock climber is attached to. That way if the rock climber falls off the wall, the belayer and the attached rope keeps the rock climber from falling.)

Kimberly volunteered to climb first, which meant I had the pressure of making sure I was belaying correctly. Luckily, Kimberly is an excellent climber who even once took a PE class in rock climbing. She went straight up to the top and then it was my turn.  

While I had spent a lot of time over the past few months thinking about the rock wall and its harness, I hadn't actually given much thought to whether I would be able to climb. On Wednesday I did better than I thought I would, really. I only made it, maybe a quarter of the way up the wall, but that was enough to make me happy with my first try.  I was really just ecstatic to fit in the harness.

Some pictures:

Excited to be in the harness!

Anchored in and ready to belay

Just getting started.

Conquering my personal mountains.

Calendar of Power

Okay, so since I've mentioned my daily goals a couple of times, on this blog and this blog, I thought I'd let you in on a little secret. Last year for Christmas I got this awesome calendar from my parents. It allows you to track up to four daily goals, as each day is divided into quadrants.  This is how I keep track of my daily goals. It's a very visual reminder, and satisfying to see all the little boxes checked off. I would include a picture of mine with all of the little check boxes, but it was hard to capture.  Instead, here's the pic from Sparkpeople, where it is available here.

*The top of each page is a cheesy picture and inspirational quote, but the quotes aren't that inspirational, so I just keep the calendar side showing.

10,000 Strong

Friends, today I witnessed something inspiring, exciting and touching all at the same time. Today, I rose before the sun to watch 10,000 runners attempt either a marathon, half marathon or a 5k on the streets of Charlotte.  For lack of better words, it was amazing.

Particularly, I went because my good friend and running buddy, Jess, was running in the half marathon.  Because I know how good it feels to see people cheering you along the sides of the course, I wanted to be there for her when she accomplished this goal yet again. (I believe this was her third half marathon, correct me if I'm wrong, Jess.)

When Jess went to line up, I walked down the street a bit to so that I could have a good view of all the runners when they came past.  When they lowered the flag to start the race, I could not believe just how many people there were. They just kept coming and coming and coming. I stayed there until the very last runner had run past and I cheered for her just like I cheered for the thousands of others before her.

As a bonus, Amie was running in the Jingle Jog 5k this morning.  It started 30 minutes after the marathon and the half started, so I went back down the street to watch her. Amie is a very fit person, but she is not a runner.  She volunteered to run today, even though she has never run three miles in her life, because of a program called Girls on the Run.  Girls on the Run is a non profit group that helps pre-teen girls develop self-respect and healthy lifestyles through running. Amie is a teacher and the GOTR group from her school needed more adults to run with the girls in the big race.

Let me tell you the many, many people lined up for the 5k were no less inspiring than those for the marathon or the half.  After seeing them off, I went and put my stuff down in my car and ran two miles myself because I had to get a work out in today, and I had some time to kill while I waited for them to come back around.  When I was done, I walked down to the near the end of the 5k finish line and stood there clapping and cheering for hundreds of young girls as they neared the finish line.  I was there at least thirty minutes, and it was the best part of my whole week.

I saw tiny, tiny girls running alongside grown women. I saw girls running with their dads, holding hands as they crossed the finish line. I saw a couple of girls crying, but I saw so many more light up when they realized they had made it, they were within sight of the finish line.  I yelled, "Way to go girls, way to run!"

By the time Amie and her girls finished, we didn't have time to go out on the half marathon course to see Jess, so we decided to just wait for her at the finish. She finished strong after running 13 miles that took her all over Charlotte. Amie has some great pictures of Jess crossing the finish line, but I'm not quite as good of a photographer, so here's what I got:

The very first runners of the marathon.

Jolly Jill waiting for the races to start!

Over-prepared and Under-prepared

I was super prepared for this week. I had written this post last weekend about the food challenges I could anticipate in the week ahead. This turned out to be a great thing. It got me thinking and planning about how I would tackle each event; it gave me a game plan.  I did great food-wise this week and made it to 97 pounds lost at my weigh-in on Thursday.

The weird thing was that this week I thought so much about Monday through Thursday that when Friday came, and I hadn't thought about it at all. So today, when I was kind of tired and not feeling the mid-day work out and suddenly* found myself thinking that I needed to eat lunch out, I had no defense against this train of thought because I had given Friday no advance thought. (Note, I did have a prepared meal for today's lunch available.) An unscheduled lunch out on a Friday is a particularly poor choice because I usually eat dinner out with friends on Friday and eating out two meals in one day makes it virtually impossible to stay within your calorie count for the day.  

Anyway, I went to Moe's with a friend and suddenly* found myself thinking, "Well, if I'm going to eat out, why not 'go all out' and order the Billy Barou." The Billy Barou is their nachos, which I love, but are practically a full day's worth of calories. I came so close to ordering them, I really did. The guy at the counter even had to wait while I had an internal battle with myself about. He was seriously staring at me for like 30-45 seconds while I was debating about it. (This is after debating it the whole time I was waiting in line to order.)

In the end, I ordered the Joey Jr. burrito, which is one of the better options, calorie-wise.  Victory #1 of the day.  I was still certain I would eat dinner out though, just because I always eat dinner out on Fridays.  However, after work I decided to do my weekly grocery shopping early to get it out of the way before a busy weekend.  After spending 45 minutes shopping for healthy food, I decided to go home and eat the chicken dish that I was supposed to eat for lunch today and didn't, instead of going out with friends.  Victory #2 of the day.

Against all odds, I met my regular food goals today: I stayed within my calorie count, ate all five servings of fruits and vegetables and I drank all of my water. I didn't work out, but I think my body deserved the rest. It was a successful day, even though it was a battle. Now I'm beginning to think about the week ahead. I want to be as dedicated in the upcoming week as I was this past week, because even though I have no big events on my schedule, there are no easy weeks. I need to be ever vigilant as I close in on my goal!


*I love how I use the word "suddenly" in this blog. I am very good at sneaking up on myself!