The Art of the Dance Party

Today I got up semi-early, loaded up my car with my stuff and my dog and drove for approximately six hours and fifteen minutes to get home, stopping only twice.

I don't know about you, but when I return from a trip, I tend to get a little overwhelmed with all that needs to be done.  Today when I got home I turned on my computer first thing and started up my music while I unpacked. The first song on my music library is still "Forget You" by the Glee Cast (I embedded the video in last week's Report Card, but here's the link, if you need it.) 

Before I knew it I forgot about the unpacking and the Christmas decorating that needs to be done and had a dance party instead.  It felt good after the long car ride and made me feel better about not getting to work out today (I actually  missed a couple of days this weekend). Coincidentally, Wednesday when I got to my parents' house, my mom, dad, sister and I dance partied to the same song.  

Even if you don't have time or aren't physically able to exercise, everybody can have a dance party. Seriously, if your legs aren't so good, have one sitting down and just move your upper half about wildly.  Anything that gets your heart pumping a little faster.  Plus, all you need is a great song to get you moving.  You can even have a dance party by yourself if you're not as, shall we say, confident in your dancing as I am.  Besides the benefits of heart-pumping exertion if you're doing it right, it's just plain fun.  

What's your favorite dance party song? What gets your toes a-tapping? What makes you break out the finger guns or wave your arms like you just don't care?

*I think I may be a little delirious after the trip.

The Loud and the Quiet

There are two voices competing to be heard.

One shouts "Why try again, when you always fail?"

One whispers "This time can be different."

One shouts "You'll always be fat."
One whispers "You can change."

One shouts "You're a quitter."
One whispers "You are strong."

One shouts "This is too hard."
One whispers "You can do this."

One shouts "Give up."
One whispers "Keep going."

We often think of training as a physical thing.  We train our bodies to be able to run, swim, or lift heavy weights.  But training should not be just physical. we need to train our minds and our hearts to listen to the quiet voice. The one that whispers instead of shouts.  It's hard, but the more you work at it, the easier it gets. Though you can have relapses. If all you hear right now is the loud, you need  to get outside of your own head.  Talk to someone else, find someone to help you believe in yourself. Start a blog to get all of the crazy out of your head.  You can do it! (There will be no charge for this motivational session,)

Thanksgiving

I've already written one awesome post on giving thanks, but in the spirit of the day, here are some additional thoughts on thanks.

I'm most thankful today that my body is healthy and injury free. That I have legs and joints that function as they were designed to do.  While I am sore today thanks to a kick-butt workout yesterday, otherwise I do not have pain.  My body put up with a lot of abuse from me over the years, and I am lucky that it held up.

I'm also thankful for all of you who support me and praise me even when I do not deserve it.Changing your life is hard; it's not something you can just flip a switch on, but a life long journey. I couldn't have gotten this far without you.

What are you thankful for?

The Next Stream of Consciousness

I had planned to try avocado today and post about it tonight, but that didn't pan out because when I cut into the fruit (is it a fruit?), it had turned brown. I realized that this meant it was bad because I was at Amie's house on Sunday and she showed me how to slice and eat an avocado and I took note that it was bright green on the inside.  I should've taken her up on her offer to try it there, I guess. Anyway, there will be no fruit/veggie experimentation until next week.


After two days of depressing posts, I thought maybe I ought to address my state of mind tonight anyway.  I had another bad eating day, but mentally, I'm feeling better.  I've decided that I shouldn't be too hard on myself right now because it really is a weird week, routine-wise.  I only worked two days and didn't cook any meals because I had leftovers from last week, and I'm heading out of town tomorrow.  Monday when I get back to my regular schedule, I'm going to kick some healthy-eating butt. Who knows, this may be a shake up my metabolism needs?  (Note: I'm not giving myself license to eat whatever I want this week, I'm just trying to go with the flow a bit.)


I also got some nice comments/messages from friends who read the blog regularly and seem to enjoy my struggles (just kidding! they enjoy the blog being "real"). They reminded me that I am helping others with my story, that I have come a long way and that I am loved.  I appreciate those thoughts. 
Here's a quote I got from a friend today that made a lot of sense to me:

"Quit putting yourself in a little box by trying to live consistently with your past and explaining every little action you take. BE YOU. Fully. In this moment. Independent of what others may or may not 'expect' from you."
- Brian Johnson

I don't think I'll have time to post tomorrow, as I'll be battling ATL traffic and hanging with friends and fam.  Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your time off with your friends and family.

Today's Stream of Consciousness

Sorry, no Memory Monday today...Instead, this is what I'm thinking about today:

Today I feel like:
My mind is at war with itself
I will never make it to my goal of 100 pounds lost
I have no idea how I got this far.
Eating is an addiction that is hard to shake because you can't go "cold turkey"
I shouldn't be blogging any more, because who wants to hear me whine and flounder and never succeed? That's not inspiring.


I saw some people I don't see often this weekend. They said very nice things about my weight loss. They are nicer to me than I am to myself a lot of the time.

I like Thanksgiving more as an adult than I did as kid.  In addition to spending time with my family that is much more precious to me now that it is not a constant in my life, every year I get to see some great friends around this time. I spent quality time with the whole England family and one of my favorite former youth girls this weekend. Plus, fitness guru and WU chick Stefanie is flying in for Turkey Day. On Wednesday we're going to knock out a great workout together and enjoy every Rock Hill native's favorite local restaurant, the White Horse. It's pretty much shaping up to be a great week.

A Bad Report Card

I'm sad to report that I have not been living healthy this week. For the past several days  I  have eaten a lot of junk and eaten out a lot.  I'm not even sure what triggered this behavior.  I haven't been stressed or depressed.  I've actually been really happy, and super looking forward to Thanksgiving and time with my family.

The week before I had to go to a lot of different events for work. Before each one I was anticipating being able to eat "good" food, especially desserts.  I don't keep desserts in my house any more, because I tend to abuse the privilege.  Anyway, at each event I was eagerly anticipating the food.  This is a big change from last year at this time. Then I would've been worrying about each event and developing a plan for how I could avoid the sweets and stick to my eating plans.  But this time I was looking forward to them specifically for the food, but at each event when I arrived, there either wasn't food at all, it was gone before I got to it or it just didn't look like it was worth it.  I was continually frustrated in the free, good food department.

I'm wondering if this contributed to my blowout this week.  Once I gave in and started eating poorly, it was hard to right myself.  All I could think was, "the weekend is coming, and it's impossible to eat well over the weekend. Then after that I'll be travelling and Thanksgivinging." It seemed hopeless to try to eat well until I can get back to a normal routine. That's another attitude that is different from last year at this time. It makes me sad, because I feel like I will never make it to 100 pounds lost.  I seem to be sabotaging myself a lot more regularly.

I don't know where to leave this post except to tell you that I've abandoned the attitude that I had the past few days that I "deserve" these foods and that I should be able to eat whatever I want.  I'm trying to reboot my healthy living self, which is hard after 3-4 days of letting myself eat whatever I want. We'll see.

Now to keep this from being a completely somber post, here's a link to a song that will provide you with an instant two minute dance party.  Feel free to get up and bust a move.

What Next

Lately, I've been thinking about the changes I've implemented over the past year.  When I first started this journey, one of the main catalysts was the idea that I didn't want my 30th birthday to come and go without having changed.  I looked a year in advance and said, "I want to be different by next year."   A similar thing happened with my running. A year ago I couldn't run for more than two minutes at a time; it was extremely frustrating. Now I'm training for my second 10k. It's crazy.

As I'm thinking on the big changes of the past year, it leaves me thinking about what I want to accomplish by this time next year.  I still have weight to lose, but it's not something that will leave me drastically different by next year.  To be honest, I'm not sure about the answer. I know I would like to continue getting better at running and run a half marathon in the next year.  Also, this time next year I will have finished reading through the entire Bible for the second time.  But what else?  I guess that's the eternal question.

I'll take any suggestions you have for me, (should I learn Spanish or how to samba?), and I'd love to know what you'd like to accomplish in the next year. Share it in the comments section below!